The 'victim' awakens and spends the first few minutes in a daze, trying desperately to remember where they were last night, when they came back, who they came back with and how they managed to take their jeans off and climb into bed the wrong way round without taking their shoes off. The 'victim' then becomes aware of the irresistable urge to empty their bowels. This process is known as the 'Beer Shit'.
It is not unusual for the Beer Shit to be stubborn and to insist that the 'victim' empties their bowels at least three times during that day in order to complete the job. The amount of toilet paper required to clean up after each 'mini-Beer Shit' is substantial, as is the stench that fills the house afterwards.
However, once a particularly nasty Beer Shit has been despensed with, the 'victim' feels infinitely better immediately and is ready to commence alcoholic consumption straight away to start the process again.
Oh fuck there it goes!
Girls: Ewww that's the grodiest thing I've ever seen! You're not tapping this ass tonight!