The act of calling to check on the results of your interview at 1:30 in the morning to your prospective employer while he is asleep and you are 3 sheets to the wind.
Hey bro I'm calling to see if I got the job. Son, it's 1:30 in the morning. I know dude, but I'm running low on beer money and wanted to know if I could count on some moolah coming in. Ah, no.
Who was calling in the middle of the night. Just a little case of applicantus phonetus.
Virtual ear muffs created by drinking lots of beer. Music and voices seem muffled and therefore less obnoxious, especially when generated by the person wearing the muffs. They also usually convince the wearer that their singing voice is far better than it actually is.
The neighbor's beer muffs convinced him that the music he was blasting and shrieking along to at 3 in the morning wasn't loud enough to bother anyone.
|45.||Pizza and or Beer Pucker syndrome|
When your asshole puckers the morning after a hard night of beer drinking and or after Pizza eating. Usually followed by intense diarrhea and or "beer shits", bloating, a rotting dead road kill in the sun for 4 days smell, and discomfort.
"Pizza and or Beer Pucker syndrome"
Guy 1 "Dude I drank a 12 pack and eat 2 twelve inch pizzas last night. I gotta shit so bad my asshole is puckered up like shes ready for a kiss.:
Guy 2 "sounds like you got a bad case of the Beer Pucker syndrome"
Guy 1 " OH, Not anymore it breached the lips"
enters guy 3
Guy 3 " Fuck, why does it smell like the time my cat got hit by that car and baked in the sun for a few days?"
Guy 2" John couldn't hold his irritable beer pucker syndrome and ruined a new pair of pants!"
Wife 1 "Don't let him change in the house, go outside! "
The reason I get up in the morning and the reason I pass out at night.
The mysterious device used to transport very drunk people home after a heavy night. When you wake up in the morning, your memory of getting home has been completely erased.
Dave: Morning Dave, how'd you get home last night? You could barely stand up.
Dave: Christ knows, must have been the beer travelator I guess!
|48.||last call girl|
A very horney ugly girl waiting for sex in the bar after last call, typically the last resort for any man, but with the beer goggles and all, the mistake is not seen till morning.
When I woke in the morning and next to the last call girl, I nearly chewed my own arm off to get away.
Technically 3, Clive, Geoff and Steve. After a heavy night on the pop, Clive ransacks your room while hiding your wallet,keys,phone,etc while Geoff punches you in your sleep (subsequent black eyes and headache in morning!) At the same time, Steve shits in your mouth leaving that strange nasty taste in the morning which not even bleach can shift!
Guy1: Went out last night on the piss, fuckin beer monkeys got me again!
Guy2: Bastards, looks like they got you a treat!