A popular party game amongst humans (i.e bipedal non-bufoniform lifeforms that don't live in Bedford) is "name five famous people from Bedford". This usually leaves people stumped after one or two. This game is similar to "name five famous people from Belgium", but infinitely more amusing due to the fact that most people from Bedford are fighting a battle of the wits unarmed.
Bedford does have it's good points...The Charles Wells Brewery, and the A6 leaving Bedford!
Has it's own rail service known as "First Capital Connect" (formerly Thameslink), However your average inbred Bedfordian would rather use Midland Mainline (and therefore overcongest what would otherwise be a good service) to commute to London as they then have the opportunity to mix with normal human beings and annoy them.
There is just not enough space to descibe how unbeleivably awful Bedford and it's denizens are. The only phrase that springs to mind is the quote from 'Good Morning Vietnam'.
"It sure sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls!". I think this comes close.
Bedford is best avoided at all/any cost, especially for those of a sensitive disposition...or anyone that has an imagination and has watched "The hills have eyes". Even East Europeans avoid it!
"How d'yer guess, I s'pose it's the fact that I have a T-shirt on with 'I'm so stupid that even stupid disowns me' gives it away?"
"It's a WASP golf course, I'm Jewish, they wont let me in. But you can come to the Jewish golf course Rockarimmin with me!"
"I just saw Ralph Lauren driving out of his estate on Guard Hill Road."
"Why does everyone in Bedford wear flip flops all the time?"
"i don't know, bedford sucks. what are you doing?"
"there's nothing to do. let's just do it."
We're right next to rich douche bag asshole Concord and wannabe ghetto asshole Lexington, and whenever we go somewhere out of state or even twenty minutes away and we say we're from Bedford they always say OH I WENT THERE THE HARBOR IS LOVELY. This is where I punch them in the face and say FUCK YOU THAT'S NEW BEDFORD. At least we have a McDonald's, SUPER stop and shop, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Whole Foods, and three liquor stores.
We probably have the most drugs in our immediate area, mostly consisting of reefer but we also have shrooms, acid, salvia, X, and probably more...Drinking is common too.
For some reason, the amount of traffic makes getting from one side of town to the other nearly impossible.
We have a good high school full of preppy stoners, smart stoners, jock stoners, dumb stoners, and ghetto stoners. Then there are a few straight edge kids. It's mostly white kids, and the black kids are either from the base or (mostly) from Boston (metco program). However, the black kids usually just intimidate the white kids, walk slow, and the black girls get mad if you get within 3 feet of them. While some may think it, there isn't much bad-assery around except for the middle schoolers who draw dicks all over the barely used skatepark......
Our sports suck most of the time, but when they aren't sucking they actually do pretty well.
To sum it up, Bedford is a rich, white person town with a nice commercial center, and near the mall (thankfully), full of stoners (of all ages, not just the HS), and undiverse. But better than limp dick Concord.
'nah' don't bother its a shit hole, lets go Milton Keynes'.