Bakered

Well known for his stupidity and glorious fuckups; the term "Bakered" was created after the infamous Corey Baker. This term is slang forscrewed up, or fucked up.

Terrell Owens schooled the corner on a double move, Owens then Bakered the catch.

Bakered by 13B-MSP June 8, 2010

battered sav

Originally an Australian term for a hot dog sausage (saveloy) battered and deep fried, commentary of the 2000 Olympics Men's Gymnastics by Australian comedic duo Roy & HG on "The Dream" redefined it as a move where a (male) gymnast leaps into the air, lands in a push-up position and touches his groin to the floor - thereby 'battering' his 'sav'.
See also: flat bag, hello boys, dutch wink, crazy date, party date, spinning date

.. and the russian gymnast lands the double corkscrew, now he batters the sav... yes, that was a nice battered sav, straight into the crazy date

battered sav by MartinBartinFargo May 27, 2007

battered 

Beaten up in a fight - laid out, fucked up

dylan fort e was all 'ard but e's a cripple now cos e got proper battered by sam when e called im a mong

battered by TheHunterOfPussy November 26, 2016

Battered little spadge 

A guy with a small penis who gets verbally abused by a woman

I gave him a good bollocking on the phone today and said to my sister.i dont mean to brag but i battered little spadge

Battered little spadge by little sparrow May 16, 2017

Jack Bauered

To suffer a major catastrophe, dilemma, or problematic person just minutes before you have to leave or your shift is over.
Named after the "hero" in the TV series 24 who suffers a cliff-hanging moment every hour, on the hour.

Dave: You were supposed to be here an hour ago!
Bob: Sorry, I was Jack Bauered - the whole network went down two minutes before my shift ended.

Jack Bauered by Peanutgnome January 27, 2007

battered 

To beat up or hit aggresively with the upmost vigour.

I battered those idiots in Clover Drive when they said I was batty!

battered by Kristian Aitken July 2, 2003

Battered Cavern

Adj.
A term used to describe a massively mangled colon. Deriving from the condition of the overused hole during male or femal anal intercourse. Sometimes getting so "battered" that said hole is left gaping and hanging.

Mary was saving herself for marriage, so the only way she could divulge in her lusty desires was to indulge in the anal intercourse. She was commonly bent over so much that she is almost a permanent hunch back.
In time, her ass turned into such a BATTERED CAVERN that we could hear echos when she farted.

Battered Cavern by e-rips December 15, 2003