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shin bashed in the dick bag 

The brutal art of absolutely destroying a man's no-no zone with your shin at such speed and with such a tremendous force, you effectively castrate him.
Person one: Yo man, did you hear that Ethan just got shin bashed in the dick bag by Big Bully Bobby
Person Two: Holy fuck is he ok?
Ethan: *Limps over* AW SHIT MAN MAH BALLS! *Collapses dead on the ground*.

Face like a bashed in rubbish tin lid 

To describe one whos facial formities are less than lets say, pleasingto look at. Not easy on ones eye.

Ugly as a hat full of arseholes
Craig: "Hey man what do you think of that Justine....?"
Shane: "Man no way! She has a face like a bashed in rubbish tin lid!"

bathed in legitimacy

yo, how was the solid gold hot tub at Raf's mcmansion last night?
dude it was bathed in legitimacy. We got vodka coke martini's after.
bathed in legitimacy by superking2 December 15, 2016

A Psychosomatic Xylephone Inserting Pears In Horoscope-Based Ornaments To Destroy Döppelganger (Xiphoid): The First Juvenile Release 

What I call homo-sapiens who are addicted to perianal abscesses.
Person 1: Are you addicted to perianal abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: A Psychosomatic Xylephone Inserting Pears In Horoscope-Based Ornaments To Destroy Döppelganger (Xiphoid): The First Juvenile Release

The Invention Of A Very Long Phrase In Order To Achieve Recognition On A Renowned Lexicographically Based Web Site With The Sole Intention Of Satisfying Ones Desire To Submit Potentially The Longest Entry 

Consequently what I have accomplished by the submission of this article. Please, read on. The satirical example below is entirely for your enjoyment.
- You know what really is a waste of valuable time and proof that you have no life to speak of?
- No, but now I'm curious, enlighten me.
- The Invention Of A Very Long Phrase In Order To Achieve Recognition On A Renowned Lexicographically Based Web Site With The Sole Intention Of Satisfying Ones Desire To Submit Potentially The Longest Entry.
- You're right. Anyone who would do that is nought but a despondent pariah; a social outcast; an antisocial recluse; an awkward shit you might say.

Eliza Coupe Is Katiuska Julissa Robles Based Out Around The Comedic Notion Of Being The Fastest Joke In The World 

Eliza Coupe Is Katiuska Julissa Robles Based Out Around The Comedic Notion Of Being The Fastest Joke In The World
Eliza Coupe Is Katiuska Julissa Robles Based Out Around The Comedic Notion Of Being The Fastest Joke In The World