baseball gear = pot
how many innings you played= how many bowls youve smoked
your coach = your drug dealer
the bat= the pipe
the ball=the bowl.
are you pitching tonight=are you going to put money to buy some pot
when you are really high you say "man , i hit a home run"
and if you dont want to smoke anymore that night you say "im still too tired to play another game.. "how about we play baseball tomorrow?"
also. what color team your are in, is how you describe the wellness of the bud.
"Hey, I have to stop and talk to my coach for a second, did you want to pitch at the game tonight, or what?"
"i think she hit a home run, big time"
"hey i have the ball.. do you have a bat?"
"oh, and by the way, we're on the purple team tonight"
For everyone who says that baseball is boring, my response is that it is only boring to you because you're too much of an ignorant prick to realize the complexities of the game.
You just see a pitcher throwing a ball to a guy with a bat. You don't see that the pitch is an outside breaking ball because the pitcher's hoping to get the guy to hit a ground ball to the right side for a double play.
You don't see the shortstop and second baseman signal who has coverage every pitch based on the hitter and situation.
You don't see the outfield playing a deep shift to left field when Albert Pujols is batting.
You don't see the pitcher back up third on a ball hit to the outfield with a man on first or, for that matter, the first baseman trailing behind the runner in case of a run-down.
You don't see a pull hitter hitting to the opposite field because there is a gap where the second baseman is playing closer to the bag because he has coverage on the steal.
You just see a man with a glove throwing a ball to a man with a stick...and for THAT...you are a dumbass.
Ball fan/player: Why do you say that!
Ignorant baseball hater: Because all it is is some guy throwing a ball to some guy with a stick!
Ball fan/player: But yet you don't see that he's trying to trick the batter into either swinging at a bad pitch or he's trying to get him to hit a ground ball to short? Besides, have you ever tried to hit a 90 MPH fast ball?
Ignorant baseball hater: No.
Ball fan/player: I rest my case.
First Base: Kissing or Making Out
Second Base: Fingering or Touching each other
Third Base: Oral Sex
Home Base: Vaginal Sex
John: "Really? Did you make a home run?"