A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.
Damn, Frank was only going 27 in the 25 zone but the Barney pulled him over anyway!
If you have (or know) kids, you know what I mean.
You hear them in the store whining and pleading to their parents to purchase the latest stuffed Barney toy.
If asked, a child might say he/she loves Barney more than his/her parents.
Why? Because Barney never gets mad, nothing bad ever happens to Barney, yet Dad just got passed over for a promotion and Mom just lost her job.
Barney sugar-coats and presents a false view of reality.
Singing a happy song and forgetting the problem is Barney's way of dealing with difficult situations.
Children will not be able to handle them on their own.
The lasting effects of the show might last well into the teenage years.
When they realize that life isn't really what Barney told them it was like,
who knows what will happen?
Barney also becomes a member of the family often times replacing a parent.
On the show, the kids all do what Barney tells them to in perfect conformity without a hint of individual personality.
There is also no clear distinction between reality and what's supposed to be in the kid's imagination.
Only in the theme song is it mentioned that Barney is an imaginary character.
Most of the show has an appearance of being real.
At the "target" age, the kids won't know the difference.
In some of the scenes, it's pretty obvious because something will appear out of thin air, or Barney will do a super-fast costume change.
Many of the scenes which show children interacting with Barney, and Barney solving ...
A man in a purple dinosaur suit who hangs out behind a little kid's school. Always talks with the kids and sings songs with them--as long as the teachers aren't around. Magically dissapears and turns into a small, doll version of himself whenever an adult--especially a policeman--approaches him. Probably was horny as kid, and god knows what he does to those poor children when his/her friends aren't around.
Barney teaches children just how fun life can be.
THE ULTIMATE EVIL! He must be destroyed at all costs!
Join me, in my noble crusade against Barney!
Barney will devour your soul!!
An evil, purple demon sent from Hell
to brainwash kids, with the help of assistant demons known as B.J. and Baby Bop.
Barney: "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family."
Terminator: You are overdue for termination. (shoots Barney into pulp with submachine gun).
a big homosexual dinosur that is the definition of gay and gives dinosours a bad name.
the dumbass dinosour got shot by a cannon
A plain, ordinary, unremarkable male.
e.g., I don't know where she meets these barneys. (They're everywhere, they're everywhere!)
An awkward, lame beach-goer.
A poser who tries to look like he surfs or swims, yet flails around in a helpless panic when he gets in the water.