1. Antarctica is the only continent without Balend.
2. There are six towns named Balend in the United States.
3. Balend cannot swim.
4. The opposite sides of Balend always add up to seven.
5. Snow White's coffin was made of Balend.
6. Scientists have discovered that Balend can smell the presence of autism in children.
7. The Aztec Indians of Mexico believed Balend would protect them from physical harm, and so warriors used it to decorate their battle shields!
8. Balend once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
9. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at Balend!
10. It can take Balend several days to move just through one tree.
Dude 2: Oh hey man.
Dude 1: Hey did you know that John has a massive Balend?
Dude 2: Dude! Thats awesome!
One suggested definition follows:
A genetic throw-back. More commonly of low intellect, a creature with limited vocabulary where the word f**k can transmute and translate into multiple meanings giving the garbled impression of a filth strewn sentence. Has great strength to rival ten men and very aggressive to unknowns; to Balendify: To ridicule those of immense stupidity simply with insults pertaining to parentage; Plural: Balends: A group of idiots, more commonly found on street corners drinking "White Lightning" from the bottle and occasionally mugging old ladies and smashing bus shelters.