a really shit place where the air is as clean and pure as paris hilton

With a population of nearly a half million, it is the third largest inland city in California. God knows why, it's a pretty horrible place, with summer (late May-late October) temperatures averaging in the high 90s and air quality that can practically disable you. Winter is short and usually doesn't get colder than 50 degrees in the daytime.

Meth is as easily found as soda machines and getting drunk at parties in the middle of fields is a common Friday night activity.

Housing used to be dirt-cheap, but as of recently it's increased drastically. Statistics show that every single day 10 people from LA move into Bakersfield.

Ridiculously, there is only one real shopping mall (Valley Plaza) so at any given time it is too crowded to take a breath.

Much of the population are Mexicans that hop the border and invade town then clog the streets protesting their "deserved rights" when they are not even citizens.

Areas of town are sort of defined by the high schools: South High (southside), East High (eastside) {don't walk the streets at night because you WILL get stabbed by a mexican gang}, North High (north) {A.K.A. Oildale- which isn't a city in itself, just a name for the trailer park/white trash part of town], West High (west) {if you want to get shot, eat at a taco bell}, Ridgeview Hi...

Why trust air you can't see? The unbearable heat during the day adds to deliquency society as people prefer midnight outings and cow-tipping. From gang members to cowboys you will see a variety of "culture" The armpit of California is home to cheap living, suburbia mixed with random farms, and drastically changing geographics every year, as (for some reason) people keep moving there.

A city in Central California, roughly 150 miles northeast of Los Angeles. It suffers from a lack of culture, backwards politics, and extremely hot temperatures.

It is the definite area at which the zombie apocalypse will begin.

The closest thing to Texas you are going to get in California. Rent here is one the cheapest in California. Land is very affordable here.

It is an hour and half away from Los Angeles and the Central Coast, and is thirty minutes to an hour away from the mountains.

It's boring as fuck unless you like riding dirtbikes, farms, oilfields, 4-wheeling, going to concerts, shows, the Kern county fair, swimming, drinking, or doing drugs.

High quality Methamphetamine can be found in any trailer park and is a very popular drug of choice here. It has the same air quality as Los Angeles, can get up to 110 degrees during the summer, and has the highest rate of teen pregnancy and STDs in the country.

Girls are hot here but they get around like hula hoops and will get pregnant and have your kids to receive welfare benefits and child support.

Liberty High, Stockdale High, Centennial High, Garces, and Bakersfield High are the best high schools here.

Colleges are Bakersfield College and Cal State University of Bakersfield where Tito Ortiz went to.

Best neighborhoods to live in Bakersfield is in the Northwest and Northeast.

Neighborhoods you want to stay far away from is Oildale and neighborhoods near and/or on Cottonwood road and Martin Luther King Blvd.

Gangs here consist of various sets of Crips that roll deep as fuck claim East Side, country boy Crips on the South Side, and West Side Crips. Bloods are few in number. Peckerwoods are in Oildale.

BAKERSFIELD GANGS =

EASTSIDE CRIPS:

spoonie g crips,
stroller boy crips,
mid city crips,
lakeview gangsta crips,
project crips,
clifton mob crips,

WESTSIDE CRIPS:
westside gangsta crips,
family crips,

SOUTHSIDE/COUNTRY BOY CRIPS (CBC):
watts & lotus blocc crips,
melwood blocc crips aka helwood,
bradshaw hustler gang,
mad blocc crips,
reece & cheetam blocc aka rc blocc,
cottonwood crips,

BLOODS:
westside warlord piru,

SURENOS:
loma bakers 13,
hillside loma bakers 13,
colonia bakers 13,
okie bakers 13,
varrio bakers 13,
bakers sur trece gang,
southside bakers 13,
lil locos (ss bakers),
southgate locos (ss bakers),

A tweaker-infested, stretched-out town with overbearing heat located in the desert of central California. For having about as gross of nature as Rosie O'Donnell's sweaty crotch, Bakersfield has almost half a million victims to it's polluted, gang-infested shit-hole. It is rumored that once you move there, you never can escape it's magnetic pull, and your life will never reach its full potential.