| 1. | Baby Bulldozer | ||
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1. A baby carriage that's used aggressively by an individual who pushes other pedestrians aside or run them over. 2. An oversized baby carriage that takes up the entire width of the sidewalk. Oh my god, that lady with the baby bulldozer almost ran over my foot!
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| 2. | PAV | ||
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PAV (Pediatric Assault Vehicle): clumsy, overgrown, overpriced stroller or baby carriage favored by Yuppies as visible evidence of how much they care for the children they typically leave in the care of underpaid and overworked illegal-immigrant nannies. Coined by Bill Marsano, 2004 "She's a typical Park Slope breeder--a self-important Mommy Menace who'll knock you into the street with her PAV and then act as if it's all your fault."
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| 3. | placental gravity | ||
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(n.) the force that pulls the baby out of the womb and into the hands of an either irresponsible nurse or eager-to-get-away-from-this-job hospital employee. The placental gravity was so strong, the baby shot out of its mother and out the window. Luckily, it landed in an empty baby carriage on the street. Damn gravity.
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| 4. | Dead Baby Joke | ||
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Jokes aimed at babies of the living and non-living nature. These are highly offensive, very crass, and horribly lewd. Which is why evryone loves them. Dead Baby Jokes:
more...
Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties. Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool? A: The same baby three weeks later. Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? A: Floaties with a slashed baby. ---------- Q: What's red and sits in a highchair convulsing? A: A baby eating razor-blades. ---------- Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner? A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades. Q: What is red, white and green and sits in a corner? A: Same baby 3 weeks later. Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A baby playing in a plastic bag. Q: What's blue and sits in the corner? A1: Baby in a cellophane bag. Q: What is green and sits in the corner? A: Same dead baby two weeks later! ---------- Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby. (If on a diet use only one scoop) A2: Add 8 ounces of Pepsi with 2 scoops of dead baby. A3: Take your foot off its head. Q: And where did you get these babies? A: Abortion Clinic. ---------- Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass before it explodes? A: A baby in the microwave. Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds? A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave! Q: What's blue and knocks on glass? A: A baby in a fishtank ---------- Q: What is charred black and smells really bad... |
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| 5. | Genetic Dumpster | ||
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(n). A baby carriage; pram I just got told-off by some self-entitled single mother for bumping into her genetic dumpster at the mall!
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| 6. | Pram | ||
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A stroller; A carrier for an infant The baby's mum put her in a pram so that she would go to sleep.
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| 7. | yuppie puppy | ||
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The child of a yuppie mother whose main interest is in showcasing her ability to give birth at around 40 to a world that largely does not care, since it, too, is sipping Starbucks while pushing the carriage with the tot ensconsed and multi-tasking on a cell phone or other electronic device. Father is optional, should he exist. "Oh, look! There goes Jennifer with her dog, her cell phone, her coffee, and her ergonomic baby carriage--oh, yeah, and that darling perfect infant Taylor, her Yuppie Puppy! So glad she's our real estate agent! And our wine-n-cheese friend! Honey, did you see the escrow papers? Something's weird..."
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