autoshadenfreude 

1. Pleasure derived from one's own misfortune.

ex1. Man, your girlfriend dumped you over a year ago! You really have to stop all that autoshadenfreude and get back in the game.

ex2. So you got a B- on that calculus midterm? Quit your autoshadenfreude and work harder next time.

ex3. Stop listing all the negative personality traits of your tennis partner. Just because she doesn't want to date you, doesn't me you have to envelop yourself in autoschadenfreude.

autoshadenfreude by spokentoken December 8, 2009

autosuck

A fictitious feature that should accompany an expensive item.

Dolan: Nice Benz Mo Fro !
Fav: Thanks D !
Dolan: Lotta Jacksons for some wheels like that?
Fav: 55K
Dolan: For that price, it better come with autosuck !
Fav: Yeat ! You got that right !

autosuck by Fav February 13, 2008

autocackle 

When a person of either gender can not stop laughing and pointing at things that they think require ridicule, or sarcastic responses.

We had diagnosed Lillie as unsane because she kept cackling and pointing at everyone that was doing almost anything, then she started laughing at the parked CAR and we realized she was stuck on autocackle.

autocackle by Chaosmotic July 7, 2019

autoshartphyxiation

The combination of sharting yourself while in the act of asphyxiation.

It's hard to find a toothless hooker to help me with autoshartphyxiation.

autoshartphyxiation by autoreverseaudio November 29, 2007

AutoSnark 

Noun: The automatic application of SNide remARKs. AutoSnarkage

Verb: To automatically or reflexively snark something down. To apply sarcasm, or to make snide and sharply critical comments - without thinking first. AutoSnarking

Adjective: AutoSnarky, AutoSnarkiness

other forms: auto-snark \ autosnark \ auto snark

Well that social media meme was an example of purest AutoSnark!

Why must you AutoSnark my brainstorm brainchild before it even has a second to breathe?

I can always count on these three to AutoSnark anything I post. I mean - they don't even hesitate. Often they let fly with the AutoSnarkiness -- and then admit that they agree or admire the thing they shot down.

Away team: set phasers to "AutoSnark"!

AutoSnark by —thoughtstorms— March 27, 2017

autoshagger 

A device that performs that most arduous of tasks - wanking - using the magic of electricity to satisfy the user

Jay: I ordered an autoshagger last night
Dave: Whats wrong with a woman?
Jay: They hate me

autoshagger by The autoshagger company Ltd March 31, 2008

autoblack

When you take adderall and drink right after. You automatically black out and cannot remember your actions of that night

Wow they autoblacked last night.

autoblack by Yeeehhaaaawwww August 8, 2019