| 50. | bolmph uhrizer-XL-GT-9000 | ||
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A completely automated eletro-mechanical apparatus used for swift, sterile and efficient masturbation. The Bolmph-o-tronic-bolmph-o-matic-bolmpherizer-XL-GT-3400; or B.three-fo as it is known on the streets consist primarily of a polished titanium cylinder approximately 34 centimeters (14 inches) in length and 10 cm (4in) wide. Designed to slide over most human penises. At the end of this cylinder is a clear plastic tube like the kind film comes in. The second part of this invention is the chair which looks like a La-Z-Boy recliner with a metal trash can mounted on the side, motorcylce-like helmet that is pulled over your head, and a cup holder for your beer. When activated a number of micro sized hydraulics, servos and actuators that massage the penis in the same way a vagina would. The temperature and humidity inside the cylinder is also regulated. The helmet is pulled down over the user's head and he is immersed in a 3D environment where the brain scan reveals and creates his ultimate sexual fantasy. When the user ejaculates it is captured in a small plastic container that can be cryo stored for later or dumped in to the "trash can" where it is vaporized by a lazer that is powered by a pico matter/antimatter reactor. This machine was created at Area 51 and believed to have been made from reverse engineered alien technology. It turns out the technology was actually human from the year 9595.
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| 51. | fusker | ||
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The act of iteratively accessing (pornographic) photographs using automated technologies. Noticing that the photographs on the website were numbered, Ned decided to fusker them.
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| 52. | fatass | ||
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Michael Moore's F.A.T.A.S.S.
His Fully Automated Threat Alert and Security System. Designed to keep him in good with liberal tree-huggers, while he eats big macs, whoppers, and 5 buckets of chicken. Michael Moore's F.A.T.A.S.S. made Farenheit 9/11.
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| 53. | nexter | ||
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Cheap Information Technology related temporary labor hired to do simple automated tasks. In effect they are hired just to keep clicking the "next" button when prompted by the computer. They are usually employed to do tasks that doesn't require much thinking. These "nexters" just have to follow a simple script. 1. I hired some nexters to help with the software rollout. 2. I saved a ton of money using nexters to input the data. With the new system, I just had to hire some nexters to finish up.
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| 54. | gmail | ||
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A free email service provided by google; still in limited beta trials, and attainable only by invitation, the much coveted gmail service allows for a gigabyte of free storage space and discourages trashing old messages.
The service is paid for by advertisers; google uses an automated bot to read your saved emails (the higher storage capacity means it has more mails to read) and uses keywords it finds in the emails you are viewing to deliver targeted text ads that follow you up and down the page. This slight downfall however is more than compensated for by the vast amounts of storage space, and unheard of attachment size limits. Unlike most webmails, gmail uses javascript much like a flash player instead of HTML to navigate and operate the email; as such, users with certian browsers are unable utilize gmail to it's full advantage. In short, gmail is über all other free email services. Some websites, such as www.gmailswap.com have taken the pursuit of these much coveted email accounts to the next level by letting users bargain or more often beg and grovel for invites. The following example is an i-seek explination of the gmail service and it's effect on other free email providers as was presented four months ago, in July of 2004: E-mail enlightenment – The munificence revealed.
more...
Upon receiving a mystifying e-mail from the Hotmail Staff signifying an upcoming substantial increase in storage and attachment limits, I was immediately suspicious of the veracity of such an unexplainably generous change. Considering that this was in fact a Microsoft owned service, a gratis increase in functionality and convenience was not something I was about to acknowledge unconscientiously. Initially I simply dismissed the concept, and even sent out some e-mail clones of the original message to various people with intent to ridicule it. While the sincerity of the proclamation is still to be established, a knowledgeable individual recently filled me in on the probable reasoning behind it. What he told me led me to believe that not only was it a legitimate Hotmail announcement – but that it could very well be true. While the conversation pertaining to the whole e-mail upgrade was indeed brief, I managed to derive a fair amount of enlightening information from it. Needless to say, numerous questions are still left unanswered – Many of which I will be seeking the answers to in these upcoming weeks. I can only imagine that many of you currently-wired individuals may already know more about it than I do; but for those of you who don’t, the following is what I know now. A new free e-mail service (possibly to be provided by google) is now undergoing beta trial. The service (which my contact referred to only as ‘G-mail’... |
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| 55. | phalanx | ||
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an automated 20mm air defense gun used on modern U.S. Navy Ships The enemy strike aircraft were no match for the cruiser's 3 Phalanx guns.
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| 56. | turret | ||
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An automated stationary weapon that shoots everything that moves into its field of view. Also known as a sentry gun. Common enemy in FPSs (first person shooters). "Watch out those turrets!"
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