A mental disability most common in white males. Autistics/aspergers tend to have higher than average IQs but have difficulty learning simple tasks and social cues intuitively and need to read an "instruction manual" for just about everything. As a result they become obsessed with minor details but miss the big picture - similar to people with obsessive compulsive disorder - and tend to get labeled as nerds, weirdos or retards and suffer social rejection.


An autistic guy wants to ask his secret crush to his high school prom. But instead of just asking her, he reads 600 pages worth of Sigmund Freud a week in advance in order to understand the female mind so he'll know "the correct way" to ask her to the prom.

When he finally asks her, he quotes a paragraph long "pickup line" that he memorized word for word in advance full of Freudian terms that she doesn't even understand. She she tells him she has no clue what he just said and he becomes offended and explains to her that he memorized 600 pages worth of Freud and explains to her why his pickup line was "the correct way to ask a girl out". She then assumes he's some kind of pervert since he knows who Sigmund Freud is and tells him to get lost and ends up going to the prom with the jock who'd always bullied him in gym class.

The autistic guy stays home on prom night contemplating his failure - telling himself that he doesn't understand why girls don't appreciate his superior intellect - and proceeds to drown his sorrow in Emo music and Walt Whitman poetry.
Autistic guy: Why hello my fair lady! Has it not crossed your mind that escorting me to Stone Creek High School's prom this weekend would happen to be a wise decision? For I have mastered the technique of inquiring of a lady whether it is in her true interest to be my date upon such a lovely night as that of our upcoming prom - and I am more than eager to provide your lovely self with an accurate explanation as to why I have provided you the most sincere and intelligent questionare as to whether or not you would prefer to be my date for that wonderful evening. :)

Girl: WTF did you just say to me? You sound really creepy.

Austistic guy: What?! How dare you slander my intellectual prowess? I shall have you know that I have taken the trouble to memorize the entire works of Sigmund Freud in advance of asking you out in order to enlighten you as to why I am in your best interest! And yet your pathetic anti-intellectual mind rejects my mastery of the female psychology and of the English language? Your cruelty cuts me to the quick! And please do not label me as suffering from autism like my ignorant psychotherapist has done before, as he simply does not recognize my intellectual superiority and labels it falsely as a curse rather than the gift that it is!

Girl: Uh okay you are some kind of weirdo. Stay the fuck away from me or I'll get Brad to beat you up. Oh yeah and he already asked me out you stupid creep. So just fuck off

Autistic guy: Sigh, why is it that the average female is so oblivious to my intellectual and linguistic mastery? Someday I hope that I shall happen upon a woman with an intellect equal to my own who shall steal my virginity along with my heart. Until then I suppose I shall have to tend to my wounded heart by drowning my sorrows in The Young and the Hopeless - the 2nd album by the delightful band Good Charlotte - released on October 1, 2002 - album length: 46:19.
by GeorgeMichael August 27, 2009
11 more definitions
Top Definition
A condition characterized by obsessive interests and a lack of eye contact.Asperger Syndrome has many facets involving a difficulty in communication and inability to grasp social situations and body language. Sufferers report an interest in minor and trivial details, rather than being able to see the bigger picture. They also find 'small talk' difficult.Sufferers also get absorbed in their own head space and find relationships difficult. They also have a tendency to take words and phrases literally, e.g. If someone with Asperger's saw a sign in a telephone bill paying shop stating "cash point" the AS suffer would assume cash point meant an ATM cash machine and would go to draw money out of it.AS sufferers tend to prefer the company of pets and animals and shun the limelight.They can also have temper tantrums and indulge in activities called stimming which is hand flapping or other none verbal gestures such as finger flicking - sufferers of Asperger Syndrome do this when under stress or pressure.Asperger syndrome is a big subject and their are countless different personality types and subcategories of illness/condition.Sufferers are often referred to as eccentric or weird. Everyone with Asperger Syndrome is different.Asperger Syndrome is a form of Autism.
Autism and Asperger's Syndrome and Psychotherapy: Understanding Asperger Perspectives
by Paula Jacobsen - Psychology - 2003 - 171 pages
by Timothy Roberts February 18, 2006
A developmental disorder, NOT a mental disease/illness.
Some people have autism.
by Wills0 July 01, 2009
A mental disorder or personality disorder (depending on who you ask), that causes social and sensory problems for the person, and sometimes mental ones as well. Can come with advantages, depending--again--on whom you ask.

Scientists of the Internet agree that there are three types of Autism:

1.) Rain Man Autism: When the person is seriously mentally handicapped, but may have some savant talents.

2.) The Sherlock Holmes Autism: What your Autistic friend from school or work has. Super smart in some ways, super socially awkward in some ways, and super awesome in every way.

3.) Wannabe Autistics: Also known as "self-diagnosers," these are the schmucks who read about Autism online and decided they had it, without getting any professional opinions. For more information on this, see Special Snowflake Syndrome.
"My first boyfriend was had Autism. Not the Rain Man kind, but the Sherlock Holmes kind."
by Sally Shears December 06, 2014
A broad range of complex neurodevelopmental disabilities marked by such symptoms as severe deficits in social interaction and communication, restricted and strong interests and inflexibility (love of routine).
Most people think Rainman when they think autism.
by Doc_B April 14, 2015
Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder. It's characterized by impaired social interaction, verbal and non-verbal communication, and restricted and repetitive behaviour.

If you use it as an insult, I will hunt you down and murder you (no, not literally).
Aaron scoffed. "Look at her, she clearly has autism." Hannah slapped him in the face.

"Autism isn't an insult." Quinn protested.
by Nicole+ May 02, 2015
This does not exist.
No such thing as Autism.
by negrosahn June 16, 2015
The proper word for fans of Justin Bieber, Bieber Fever (slang for Autistics)
The proper word for fans of JB Autism:
My daughter says she has Bieber fever but my doctor says Austism

"My son was born mentally ill,"
"Oh really what disease?"
"Bieber Fever."
"Oh I didn't know your son was Autistic"
by Moist_Lower_Endz69 April 21, 2015

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