They were the spawn of some perverted leprechauns with an anus fetish were condemed by god to be ugly, green and lick/eat ass for the rest of eternity. they have bred over the centuries and are located around the globe. their culture is similar to the culture of people where they live, with slight irish and ass-worshipping rituals thrown in. when found trustworthy, they will befriend humans and sometimes inter-breed. Danny Devito is rumored to be one such half-ass-goblin. i know all of this from an assgoblin i befriended in New York. at the time i was young and knew nothing of the assgoblins inteligence, which is similar to humans, with the exception of annoyingly squeaky voices and anus-licking tendencies. different races of assgoblin are denoted by number of toes
If you said no then you may have ass goblins. Ass goblins live in your ass and feed off your crap. They come out everyonce in a while to bite the person behind you(which can be very embarassing). To check if you have ass goblins you need to look at your ass hole and say ASS GOBLINS ASS GOBLINS ASS GOBLINS as loud as you can, and if you have them, they will come out, if not your cool. But for the unlucky ones who do the only way to get them out is to stick amonia up your pooper and swish it around then next time you take a shit, your dead ass goblins will lay there in the toilet.
(popular source generally attributed to "Beavis and Butthead" television show)