Every once in a while powerful evil spirits will possess your butt causing it to talk and shit uncontrollably. In these cases only the most experienced ass whisperer can expel them. Fortunately this doesn't happen too often.
Sometimes ass whisperers will actual whisper into to random people's butts!! No one knows why they do this but if it happens to you, politely tell them to stop and they will.
We did but he was killed in a raid.