ass wipe Share definition Flag An ass kissing, self-inflated, "me first" son-of-a-bitch. Jim, the office manager, was a total "ass wipe". You could always count on him to do whatever it took to may you look bad and him look good. ass wipe by fraterg May 11, 2003 0 0 Get merch Get the ass wipe mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch