Disingenuous Assertions 

Disingenuous: lacking in frankness, candor, or sincerity; falsely or hypocritically

Assertion: positive statement or declaration, often without support or reason: a mere assertion; an unwarranted assertion.

put the two together and you have Disingenuous Assertions so I'll dumb it down for you people

Disingenuous Assertions: pretty much lying to make someone look good and something that so infuriating that it makes soldiers want to punch reporters

I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions

Disingenuous Assertions by Bushyfro September 29, 2011

Aspergatron 

A guy (but much less frequently, a girl) that has Asperger's Syndrome and has no clue as to how to be socially aware.

What's worse, an Aspergatron does NOT want to improve their social capabilities, simply thinking that it's somehow impossible to be both intelligent and social (false dichotomy, yay!).

Their aspergatronic circuitry doesn't seem to allow them the capacity to be a more well-rounded human being, and thus they get stuck in an infinite loop whereby they think that all that's required for success in life is raw intellect, thereby showing that they're not as intelligent as they thought they were and thus failing at life (and thus withdrawing further into obscure hobbies).

Linux Help Forum:

Regular IT guy: "Hey guys, would you happen to know how to do the following with the 'cut' command"?

Aspergatron: *said in aspergatronic robot voice* "CUT IS NOT EFFICIENT!"

Regular IT guy: "Oh wow, that's really not what I asked for..."

Aspergatron by LemurGuy January 14, 2013

Aspersion 

uh-spur-shun

Comes from the Latin word "Aspersio," which has a double meaning.

1. A derogatory remark or criticism
2. To asperse, or "sprinkle" holy water.

"Don't cast aspersions on my honesty."

Aspersion by Forcy April 1, 2008

ascertion 

The state when a person is so convinced of their own self-righteous assertions that he or she will actually have a tangible feeling in their ass (variant of ass-certain).

I newed so much that Forrest Gump was a real person, I made an ascertion!

ascertion by TheWordSir June 26, 2009

Asspiration 

The often prolonged desire of one sexual partner to give his (or her) sexual partner anal sex.

Jack had major asspirations for Jill for four months before working up the nerve to tell her. Little did Jack know, Jill and her strap-on had some asspirations of her own.

Asspiration by silentbobsaidso March 17, 2015

Asspiration 

Noun: A combination of the words "ass" and "perspiration". Sweaty butt syndrome.

"Can I take a shower dude? that long drive and my leather seats left me with a mad case of asspiration."

Asspiration by Saint Rosa August 1, 2008

Apertion 

Apertion, noun (archaic) (Latin: apertio)

1. The act of opening.

2. An opening.

3. An aperture, hole, crack.

"By ruption or apertion" --Wiseman

Apertion by rsneo April 24, 2009