Ashburn, VA is a town in Loudoun County located between Leesburg and Sterling. The original town was built as a vacation spot for people in Washington, D.C.
But, nobody cares about that...
Today, Ashburn is an upscale planned community with some odd quirks: Despite being built by several developers, every, single, house has the same floorplan. Ashburn homes are rather large, exceeding 4,000 SqFt. Yards around these houses are smaller than the houses themselves and one can easily see into their neighbours' house as they are never more than six feet apart. No place of business is open past midnight in Ashburn, excepting gas stations. This, coupled with the youth of Ashburn's propensity for soft drugs, has caused many a drunk or stoned youth to trek to 7-11 and mill inside for at least a half-hour. Every adult in Ashburn is obsessed with fitness and is compelled to bicycle in the middle of the road regardless of whether trails are paved on both sides.
Out-of-towner: - "I had the hardest time finding your place, every house looks the same around here!"
Ashburn-er - "What do you mean?" "Our's has brick on the front"
Angry Neighbour: - "I think your son was peeping while I was changing!!!
Confused Mom: - "Our windows almost touch, we can read your newspaper when your curtains aren't drawn; I'm sure it was an accident"
Stoned Kid: - "Damn, I want a Crunchwrap Supreme!
Drunk Kid: - "Bummer dude, Taco Bell closed at midnight.
Stoned Kid: - "What's open at 1:30?
Drunk Kid: - "IHOP, 7-11...that's it
Stoned Kid: - "Slurpeeeeeeee!!1!"
Biker: - "Yay!" "I'm biking in the street!!!"
Angry Man in M6: - "What are you doing?" "Go ride the W&OD like everyone else!!!"
Dumb Ashburn Bitch
Seriously, have you ever met a chick from Ashburn, VA that wasn't a dumb bitch?
DAB is a sub class Novaron
Some DAB almost ran me off the road with her SUV because she was too busy on the phone to pay attention.
A upper-middle class suburb of Washington D.C. where average income is $130,663 and local kids are known to be addicted to various different drugs due to excessive time and allowances.
"So where you from, ho?"
"Oh well I grew up in Ashburn, I don't know if you know it..."
"Heallz yeah I know it, dat's where all da rich crackers live"
Sterling VA is a town in Northern Virginia between Ashburn and Great Falls. It is divided in two by the highway, Route 7.
On the south side of Route 7 is Sterling Park: an old neighbourhood with old people. There are also immigrants, fat white people, and Bob Ross. Local government claims there is gang activity here. However, the only "gangs" are actually white kids that spray MS13 tags on fences.
On the north side is Cascades: a clone of Ashburn. Residents of Cascades will never tell you they live in Sterling, as that may associate them with Sterling Park. Instead, they invented the imaginary town of "Potomac Falls" in an attempt to fool you into thinking they live in Great Falls. Smack in between the McMansions of Cascades is Sugarland Run, the poorest part of Loudoun County. To keep the poor, brown residents of Sugarland separate from the rest of Cascades, developers put Sugarland in the same zip code as Sterling Park despite being nowhere near Sterling Park.
Man from Cascades: "Legendary painter Bob Ross lived here?" "Is that your best example of why Sterling Park is cool"
Man from Sterling Park: *sighs* "Yes....."
Girl in Lowes Island: "I don't want play laser tag in Sterling Park, it's so ghettoooooo"
Guy in Ashburn: "Why are you hating on Sterling Park? Your neighbours next-door in Sugarland Run are way sketchier!"
---author annoyed great falls resident says it the best---
Man - "Where do you live?"
Lowes Islander "I live in Potomac Falls"
Man - "Oh! I like Sterling, that's a nice area"
Lowes Islander - (annoyed) "Nooo, Potomac Falls"
Man - "Bitch, you live in Sterling VA!" "Get over yourself!"
A part of Virginia that is one of the richest (Great falls, Ashburn, Centreville, Chantilly,Arlington, Sterling ect) but yet over populated with illegal immigrants and Spanish and Asian gangs. Arlington, Alexandria, Falls Church, Manassas, PWC, and even Loudon County have some of the worst illegal immigration problems in the nation. Allot of Northern VA is turning into a little Haiti or something except more like a little Honduras. There are Peruvian and el-Salvadorian places galore in NOVA. An entire part of Falls Church is all Vietnamese. A section of Alexandria City called Arlanda is known as little El-Salvador (Its on wikipedia!). Annandale has a section that is all in Korean. I can’t read that shit. It starts to make me wonder is this even America? I don’t know how this is one of the richest places when New York or New Jersey cost almost twice the cost of living it does here. And that’s a fact! Overall if you decide to come check this place out The city of Alexandria is probably the only one I would check out. And for the Centreville and Chantilly people that keep putting up this and that about there the gang capital of NOVA bullshit. Let me make this perfectly clear NOVA is soft except for Alexandria and the outskirts of Falls Church like Culmore. So shut the fuck up. And for southern Virginians that hate us for well, why? Fuck off get a life. I would much rather live here that in the seven cities or Richmond simply because there is a hell of a lot more to do here th...more...
In lacrosse, to run and dive from behind to check an opponent's stick. The term is derived from the name of a Binghamton University midfielder who was known for the move, and popularized in 2010 by the lacrosse team of Stone Bridge High School of Ashburn, VA. The term is believed to have been brought to northern Virginia by Stone Bridge coach Scott Mitchell, who played at Binghamton with Smith.
Onlooker, upon seeing a player chase down an opposing player, fly through the air, and yard sale his opponent: "Did you see him Steve Smith that guy?!?"
"Dylan hustles so hard, I've even seen him lay out to get a check after he's gotten beat. He's a regular Steve Smith."
When a merchant hires a person to stand at a street corner for several hours holding a sign advertising the merchant's place of business and its wares.
A common advertising tactic in Northern Virginia. However, instead of bums, college and high-school aged suburban kids are usually employed due to the lack of actual homeless in this extremely wealthy area.
Driver: - "Hey! Look at that sign the kid is waving." "Mastercraft Interiors is going out of business!!!"
Wife: - "No they're not, Mastercraft has a huge bumvertising campaign every summer to lure you in"
Teenager in Ashburn: - "I couldn't get a job this summer so I got a gig bumvertising for Toll Brother Homes