|1.||Like I Said|
Texting: LIS. (ph) a rude, passive-aggressive phrase, usually found at the beginning of a response, that lets someone know that they didn't listen to you. Done in convo with subordinates or anyone you disdain, because being polite to these people 'doesn't matter'. Often found in abbreviated form in response emails and texts, as LIS, indicating you think the person hasn't read or understood your post.
"Like I said, you need to get to the meeting 15 minutes ahead of time."
|2.||as i say|
One of those irritatingly meaningless phrases English footballers use too often in TV interviews. It usually sounds like they're trying to claim they were the first to think up whatever predictable crap they're talking about. Only they're not clever enough to think like that...
"As I say, if you score goals you win games"
"It was always going to be hard to beat Liverpool, but, as I say, we won"
|3.||That's what Shi'i said|
The Muslim variation of the phrase "that's what she said". It is used as a joke when someone accidently uses a sexually suggestive phrase. This is, of course, ironic, seeing as a devoted Muslim wouldn't use a phrase like "that's what shi'i said" anyway.
Abdul: That thing is huge!
Achmed: That's what shi'i said!
Abdul: Last night was awesome.
Achmed: That's what shi'i said!
The opposite of closed minded. Taking in any new information as the truth, without any objective analysis whatsoever.
Contrary to popular belief, this is not open mindedness. Open mindedness is finding a balance between closed mindedness and empty mindedness, allowing information in, but having a filter. Many people blame others for closed mindedness, claiming that they are open minded, when they are really only empty minded.
Here's a graphical representation for those of you that are verbally challenged:
Closed Minded----Open Minded----Empty Minded
Open minded, the balance of closed minded and empty minded, is the optimal thing to get. But, like I said, it is not achieved by just being empty minded; one must find a balance, not an extreme.
:OMG I SAW DIS MOVEE ND NOW I BELEEV BUSH BLU UP THE WORLD TRADE CENTER!!!
-I accept your theories as valid speculation, but until you provide me with solid, grounded evidence I won't be able to truly believe in them. Based on the general unlikelihood of the notion of your idea being true without any proof, the theory has the burden of proof before it should be believed.
:NO LIEKOMGZ TEH MOVEE SED IT WUZ BUSH, LOOK HE WUZ TAKING ABOUT TERISM BE4 911 THAT MEENZ IT WUZ HIMZZZZZ!!!!w#!1111!!!1
-Yes, I saw the movie as well, and I understand your point, however these interesting coincidences only really justify further investigation, not immediate belief in the ideas. One can find equally interesting coincidences regarding essentially any ideal, however most of these suggest things that are untrue. That is the nature of coincidences, they suggest interest in trying to possibly find a cause for their pattern, however the pattern is usually just, well, a coincidence. I am willing to be open minded and accept your theory as valid speculation, as I said before, but I am not willing to be empty minded and just take it without thinking about it. Until there is more evidence that this is the case than that something else is the case, I won't be able to believe it.
:YOR SO CLOZD MINDED!!!!
-Well, I'm trying my best to be as objective as possible, however I suppose there is never any harm in trying to increase my objectivity, thanks for the tip. I think, howeve...
|5.||That's What I Said|
Used as a substitute for that's what she said/that's what he said in certain instances:
1. You are alone, talking to yourself, and realize no one else is around to say "that's what s/he said" but it's such a good one you can't pass it up.
2. You are trying to seriously flirt and the other person is trying to be respectful/appropriate/otherwise no fun.
3. You are making fun of your own whorish tendencies to cheer someone up.
1. Having just returned from a great workout you proclaim to yourself, "That was long, rough, and I will probably be sore tomorrow but it was worth it!"
After realizing no one is around to take advantage of this opportunity, you can't help but hesitantly say, "That's what I said...?"
2. Person A making appropriate conversation about something: "It's pretty hard but I like a challenge."
Person B in overly sexual tone: "That's what I said."
3. Someone in your group of close friends is in some real trouble and exclaims: "Fuck me!"
You: "That's what I said!"
Your friend: "Hahaha, that is a true story you ARE slutty...laughing makes me feel so much better about how screwed I am!"
Well where do we start? How many 13 yr olds do you know that have a whole rural region of southern England at his very beck and call? The amount of Fuel consuming SUV's this man has is unreal, an escalade to him is as common as a wank to you and me? ahh 'but he is merely a 13 yr old kid'i hear you cry, 'he cant drive such automobiles'. You would of course be correct. Shame on you for thinkin that would even sit in the drivers seat. That job is left to his many mignons (of which i am one). Gaz on the otherhand clambers into the back of his vehicle with the aid of many a willing female volunteer who are willing to meet his every desire. As for Gaz's profession, he likes to call himself the 'PIMPIN dictator'. This is due to his ruling of the town Sturminster Newton and its many provinces. When I say rule, this dude does it in style with the aid of the affore mentioned 'Gaz Gals' and SUV's and the company of his own crew the 'Gazzians'. This is, as i said ruling in style, hence the name PimPin Dictator.
If you have yet to meet Gaz i suggest that you do, sooner rather than later, but remember to like his shoes (left first) when you greet him. Its rude not to.
All hail Gaz, King of North Dorset
Gaz: I rule
Mignons: Fo shizzle ma Nizzle
|7.||I said good day!|
I've had enough of listening to your drivel. Begone!
As spoken memorably by the inimitable Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka himself in "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory":
Grandpa Joe: You're a crook. You're a cheat and a swindler. How could you do a thing like this, raise up a little boy's hopes and then dash all his dreams to pieces? You're an inhuman monster.
Willy Wonka: I said good day!