You know you’re in Arizona when:

1. Your car breaks down on the road and people flick you off as they pass by causing a 2-second inconvenience that they had to slow down.

2. You see a rollover on the 101 in Scottsdale.

3. Doing 100 in a speed limit of 55.

4. You see a constant brown and orange cloud over the valley.

5. Your car insurance is horrendous and almost the highest in the country.

6. Your car has been broken into again.

7. You see in the news of another mass shooting or child kidnapping in PHX.

8. The sun fades the color of your car.

9. When you pay a ridiculous mortgage for a home that isn’t worth shit. That dam California.

10. When your home has been foreclosed.

11. You give up on trying to sell you home.

12. You continuously re-elect the same politicians you hate that keep screwing you.

13. Making minimum wage and feel like you might as well be unemployed.

14. You ARE unemployed.

15. You get layed off because your company gets bought out by a larger out-of-state company.

16. See tons of Mexicans and their trash in Walmart and congregating on street corners asking for money.

17. You have a horrible education and low SAT and IQ score.

18. You are a teacher and the most underpaid in the country.

19. Paying EVERY tax under the sun: state income tax, rent tax, property tax, insurance tax, sales tax, gas tax, automobile tax.

20. You’re here illegally.

21. You are desperate at moving back to the Midwest
Arizona is the worst state in the country and doesn't live up to the hype from those stupid morons who've never been here. I hate it and going back to the Midwest. It isn't so bad after all.
by krock1dk August 06, 2007

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Arizona - It's the devil's playground

The devil wanted a place on earth, sort of a summer home, a place to spend his vacation, whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Arizona, a place both wretched and rough, where the climate was to his liking, and the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the lakes in the valley, then burned and scorched it all, He dried up the streams in the canyons, and ordered no rain to fall.
Then over this barren desert, he transplanted shrubs from Hell, the cactus thistle and prickly pear, the climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking, but animal life he had none, so he created crawling creatures, that all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake, with its forked poisonous tongue, taught it to strike and rattle, and how to shallow its young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards, and the ugly old horned toad, he placed spiders of every description, under the rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, hotter and hotter still, until even the cactus wilted, and the old horned toads looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom, as any creator would, he chuckled a little, rolled up his sleeves, and admitted it was good.
T'was summer now and Satan, lay by a prickly pear to rest, the sweat rolled off his sweaty brow, so he took off his coat and vest.
"By golly", he finally panted, "I did my job to well, I'm going back to where I came from, Arizona is hotter than hell!"


It doesn't get any better than Arizona :).
by A. McRae June 22, 2006

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You know you live in Arizona when:

You buy salsa by the gallon.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los."
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say Hohokam(?Hohokam (HO-ho-ko'm) and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 120 degrees without fainting.
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
You can be in the snow, and then drive for an hour and it will be more than 100 degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You can make sun tea instantly.
People will drive over 100 miles just to see snow.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
Most people will not drink tap water unless they are under dire conditions.
People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
You realize Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro(?Saguaro (suh-WA'R-o)
An arborescent cactus (Carnegiea gigantea)
"Tempe," "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim," "Cholla," and "Ajo."
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 SPF is a joke, and you wear it just to go to the Circle K.
Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and other fools will actually buy them.
Hot-air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
You eat hot chilis to cool your mouth off.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

This place feels like Arizona
by PrincessMallory May 21, 2006

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The only state where you can see asphalt in its liquid phase.
"Dude why'd you just jump back like that?"
"Sorry, I tried opening the car door. Gotta love Arizona."
by statehumor May 11, 2013

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The best state of the 50 states in the United States. This is paradise on earth, everyone is welcomed. Contrary to popular belief, Arizona does have four seasons, Sedona has winter, Phoenix the summer, and the rest in between. This place is full of botanical gardens, cacti everywhere. Everything is close from Arizona, California is 4 hours away, and other states are close by. Mexico is 4 hour drive, where no matter how old you are. Unlike Washington and Oregon, it doesn't rain as often as it does.
"The Grand Canyon, Sedona, Flagstaff, Oh-My! It must be Arizona"
by yessiritsme October 09, 2013

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Southwestern USA state. It is the sixth largest and the 14th most populous of the 50 states. Population: 6,828,065 Its capital and largest city is Phoenix. It has borders with New Mexico (east), Utah (most its north), Nevada ( north and west mostly), California (west), and Mexico (south).

It was part of New Spain from until 1821 to becoming part of Mexico and admitted most of its origins of land to the US in 1848. The southernmost portion of the state was acquired in 1853 through the Gadsden Purchase. Arizona was recognized as a Confederate Territory on February 14, 1862. Pretty much after Civil War to its actual statehood time it was home to the stereotyping Wild Wild West with Cowboys of Arizona, Nevada, California, New Mexico and somewhat Utah and Colorado plus part of Texas. Arizona became a U.S. state on February 14, 1912. Arizona was the 48th state admitted to the U.S. and the last of the contiguous states to be admitted.

Southern Arizona is known for its desert climate. Northern Arizona features some mountain ranges, deep canyons, the Grand Canyon National Park and Historic US 66.

Home to Western/SW accents of course and friendly people. The three most common ancestries are Mexican, German and Irish. Lots of beautiful women all over state. There was a delicious Boston's Pizza restaurant in Tempe, now only one in Casa Grande and Tuscon. Also has In N Out Burger. Thanks Wikipedia, you helped a lot.
Arizona rocks!
via giphy
by IrishArizonan November 13, 2016

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Where you stand on a thousand foot tall red rock mountain breathing in evergreen scented air while feeling like your on top of the world as the sun is shining down on you on a warm summer day.
As soon as your flight has landed and you are back home, you will wish you were back in Arizona.
by ArcadeonFire January 18, 2015

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Southwestern USA state. It is the sixth largest and the 14th most populous of the 50 states. Population: 6,828,065 Its capital and largest city is Phoenix. It has borders with New Mexico (east), Utah (most its north), Nevada ( north and west mostly), California (west), and Mexico (south).

It was part of New Spain from until 1821 to becoming part of Mexico and admitted most of its origins of land to the US in 1848. The southernmost portion of the state was acquired in 1853 through the Gadsden Purchase. Arizona was recognized as a Confederate Territory on February 14, 1862. Pretty much after Civil War to its actual statehood time it was home to the stereotyping Wild Wild West with Cowboys of Arizona, Nevada, California, New Mexico and somewhat Utah and Colorado plus part of Texas. Arizona became a U.S. state on February 14, 1912. Arizona was the 48th state admitted to the U.S. and the last of the contiguous states to be admitted.

Southern Arizona is known for its desert climate. Northern Arizona features some mountain ranges, deep canyons, the Grand Canyon National Park and Historic US 66.

Home to Western/SW accents of course and friendly people. The three most common ancestries are Mexican, German and Irish. Lots of beautiful women all over state. There was a delicious Boston's Pizza restaurant in Tempe, now only one in Casa Grande and Tuscon. Also has In N Out Burger. Thanks Wikipedia, you helped a lot.
Arizona rocks!
via giphy
by IrishArizonan November 13, 2016

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