A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Q: What did Jimmy's grandma get him for Christmas?
A: Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving day.
Q: How do you make an electrician sad?
A: Kill his family.
Q: How do you kill a blond?
A: There are many different ways, but all of them would be wrong, because murder is illegal.
Q: What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas?
Q: What did the women say after her husband hit her?
A: Nothing. She was physically abused for 35 years before committing suicide.
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: It can't be, because numbers are not sentient and do not fear anything.
Q: What does baseball and the Holocaust have in common?
A: They are both sports, except the Holocaust.
Q: Why do black people love chicken?
A: Because it tastes good.
Q: What's worse than rainy days?
A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
Q: Why did the Jew pick up the one dollar bill?
A: He dropped it.
Q: How did the fat man survive the plane crash?
A: He didn't he died like everyone else.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0-200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!"
The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway.
He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently.
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife died in a car accident."
A man walks into a bar and orders six shots.
The bartender asks, "Rough day?"
The man replies, "Yes, very rough."
The man later went home and hung himself.
Did you hear about the blond who jumped off a bridge?
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have a gun
Get in the car.
Anti-jokes are hilarious.
A man walks into a bar. His alcohol problem is destroying his family.
Riddle joke turned into Anti-Joke:
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.
Knock Knock joke turned into Anti-Joke
"It's the police. There has been an accident. Your wife is in intensive care"
Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
The police, your entire family died in a car accident
Q: How do you make a plumber cry?
A: You kill his family
Guy#1: Why did the plane crash?
Guy#2: I dunno
Guy#1: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.
Guy#1: What did Batman say to get Robin in the Batmobile?
Guy#2: I dunno, what?
Guy#1: Get in the Batmobile!
*Guy#2 Slits his wrists*