(Edward O. Laumann, John H. Gagnon, Robert T. Michael, Stuart Michaels. The social organization
of sexuality: Sexual practices in the United States. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.)
The elderly porn addicts and 11-year-old boys who experience their first outbreak of acne and have commented on anal sex so far may find it difficult to differentiate between actual behavior and the sexual world portrayed in pornography.
Anal Sex is....
1) Something your mother is good at.
2) Dirty. That's why it's so good.
3) Something you'd gladly tell your friends you've done, but your girlfriend or wife would never tell a living soul.
4) What makes us all feel like porn stars.
5) Something your girlfriend or wife finds painful even if you have a small penis.
6) Something that requires a LOT OF LUBE.
7) Something that requires a condom. Unless you want what your wife or girlfriend had for their breakfast the day before on the end of your penis.
8) Smelly. See #2
9) Gives you entertainment afterwards by watching your girlfriend or wife's anus close.
10) Something that makes you erect just thinking about. Just like 99% of the men are just now reading this.
"Sorry I'm late, my darling. I went to see your mother and ended up having anal sex with her"
"Hello? I'm sorry, I can't come into work today. I had anal sex last night for the first time and I'm finding it hard to sit down"
2) Annoying term to describe a fastidious person, from some stupid Freudian psycho-bullshit.
Dave: 'that's alright, John...one up the bum, no harm done.'