Symptoms of alligators include monsterous dingleberries resembling alligators, a slick sweaty sensation between the ass cheeks, and in severe cases, a bog-like, swampy stench eminating from the backside. The Afghani Sauna effect.
It should be noted that attractive females are immune to alligators being as they dont go poop, and therefore don't get dingleberries.
Jose: Si senor. You should try to wipe next time.
Fat Man: Bla! Im so fat I can't wipe my ass! Now I have alligators.
Hot Chick: I don't get alligators cuz i doon't poop. Yay!