The greatest tool every created. The key is not to intake it at parties, but encourage every one else to drink freely. This way, your clear and sober mind will quickly become surrounded by drunk idiots, and you can take advantage of each and every one of them. If you're an ugly dude, no worries, a little alcohol will totally change a girls view on you. Same goes for girls, if you give a guy a couple of brews, he will hit anything that moves.

The cause of, and solution to all life's problems.

Any of a class of chemical compounds having the general formula ROH, where R represents an alkyl group and -OH a hydroxyl group. Most commonly refers to ethanol, which you can drink to forget how much your life sucks, and methanol, which you can drink when you remember.

Liquid Panty Remover

A substance found in beer (except American beer) and several other beverages that makes you excessively happy, sad, belligerent or horny. It allows white men to dance and ugly men to get laid (when given to their victim).

Alcohol. What most of your university/college life will revolve around.

The buffer between reality and a good night. Has been known to make people seem more attractive and make obviously stupid idea's seem like good sense.

The antidote to reality.