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20.
An ignorant baboon that is stubborn as a mule. Originally, the word albert was a name, but it has now become a definition of a person who criticizes everyone, but does not realize his own gaping flaws.

An albert has it periods twice every four days, whether male or female, and generally picks fights when in this stage
chad - stop being such an albert!

Richard - you are such an albert! don't you realize nobody has ever confirmed what you say about yourself?
by EE3-Bro's-bro December 08, 2009
39 120
 
1.
A guy who rolls with the punches and laughs at himself before he laughs at others is an Albert. An Albert is one of the most thoughtful, kind, sexy human beings on earth. Most Alberts serve their country and give selfishly, not expecting anything in return. In addition, Alberts are fun, smart, incredibly hot and are great with animals (especially monkeys). There should be more Alberts in the world. To know an Albert is to love an Albert, so those with something bad to say, haven't met a true one yet.
"Man, that guy is the nicest guy on earth, and the way he helps others with grace, humility and all out sexiness?...He's gotta be an Albert!".
by UrbanMonkeyLA February 04, 2010
1123 469
 
2.
A calm/chilling guy that people tend to ask his advice and perspective on how to get ladies.
Does'nt seem to need much help but will still ask for some.
hello im albert will you hold my dick for me so i can pee.
by albetheking January 17, 2009
853 663
 
3.
a hot sexy dude a little overwight
that kinda fat guy must be a albert because he looks sexy
by 3 guys at a table November 28, 2009
513 357
 
4.
The most perfect guy any girl would ever dream of having in their life. Everything I need, everything ive ever wanted, plus more. No one can ever come close to him.
11:11; "I wish for Albert <3"
by adviento. May 18, 2008
969 816
 
5.
A large penis on an ugly man. John Holmes and Ron Jeremy are perfect examples of men with Alberts.
I was surprised when his ugly ass pulled out an Albert. At least he had that going for him.
by TheRightIsRight September 30, 2009
612 479
 
6.
N. Slang. An unexpectantly large penis on an otherwise unattractive man. Term most likely originated from the handsome Prince Albert, husband of Queen Victoria, whom was rumored to be very well hung. Not to be confused with the male genital piercing Prince Albert, though the origin is probably related.
"I was surprised, he was short, fat and bald but whipped out an Albert."
by RandomThought November 28, 2009
456 343
 
7.
albert - a large sloth like creature that can sleep for weeks at a time. the albert is also the only mamal that has adapted to eating in its sleep .... harmless unless disturbed while eaten... if attacked by an albert your best chance of survival is to tip it over.
a large gassy fart escaped from the albert

the albert said "im stervin"

the albert fair wanted a bite o the manas bum

by mookieuk November 23, 2007
770 729