A set of attitudes and behaviors originating in the stark, deprived inner-city ghettos and inexplicably adopted by middle-class suburban teens. Hip-hop represents resourcefulness and ingenuity in the face of unspeakable material and intellectual poverty:
1. Graffiti: Can't afford real art supplies? Spray paint someone else's property! Dat shit be da bomb!
2. Break dancing: Can't afford a place to dance? Flatten a cardboard box and flop around on the sidewalk! Dem pedestrians be laughing wit you, not at you homie!
3. Rapping/Mcing: Can't afford a musical instrument or too lazy to learn how play? Shout some rapid-fire rhymes. Extra points awarded for butchering the english language. Yo yo dem badass rhymes gots da Man afeard of da revolution!
4. DJing: Can't afford to put together a band or too lazy to write your own music? Find someone else's work on vinyl and move it back and forth on a fancy turntable. Dat skritch-skratch be musical genius!

Your hip-hop credibility will be enhanced by rejecting the strides made in your behalf by the civil rights movement. Don't apply for scholarships; drop out of school. Fail to learn proper English, thereby ensuring that you'll never qualify for a decent job. Try never to read any books. Reject any activity that requires hard work or discipline.

Show the world you're a hip-hopper by wearing garish, impractical, cheap-knock-off clothing and jewelry that mimics rap stars and basketball players. Make sure you l...

A man from history that wrote plays pomes and other things that you can barly understand and half the words sound made up.