An 'actual holy crap' has a golden glow. When one gazes upon it's beauty a choir of angels start to sing. However what really seperates this piece of poo from the others is simply miraculous.
An 'actual holy crap' unlike it's cousin the floater which just floats on the water seemingly walks across the water. In fact it almost skips!
An 'actual holy crap' does not have any political will but does have strong opinions on global issues.
An 'actual holy crap' may feign being camera shy but scientists have discovered they crave attention.
Sadly 'actual holy craps' have a short lifespan due to their abhorrent smell and suicidal tendencies.