"I'm gonna go give her an Abe Lincoln!"
..."wait, isn't that Hilary Clinton?"
"Duh, I want to make her feel more like a president"
..."dude, you rock my world"
Half-fetish, half-prank, the Abe Lincoln involves ejaculating on a passed-out friend's face and then shaving one's own pubic hair to throw on the unconscious face. The pubes will stick to the semen deposited around his chin and neck area, thus creating a most presidential of beards for the friend to awaken to.
from the book: Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex
1/4 Bacardi 151 Rum
1/2 Vanilla Coke (Regular cola is okay in a pinch)
The amount of rum and vodka should increase after every subsequent Abe. He/she should make it through four increasing strength Abes but he/she should be gone by the fifth. The fifth Abe should be barely brown/black and contain enough over-proof liqueur to kill a horse.