His lack of presence is the greatest anomaly since wheat bread at the Cheesecake Factory. With his brief sightings throughout the US, including the Angeles Crest Forest, the Rocky mountains,( because he's can stay warm there shirt-less),and Las Vegas (because of they support limitless buffets that can satisfy his appetite,) Martin has established a reputation and following one of many known as "Smartin," to the educational community, "Bubba" to the" CEA (Competetive Eating Association,)" and "Sasquatch," to the southerners. The longest Martin sightings has taken place in a series of buffets throughout the U.S. Which after an encounter, end up claiming bankruptcy in result of martins insatiable appetite. Refusing the Right To Service to Martin would be considered the eight deadly sin...especially at a buffet.
"Martin didn't give me a birthday present, but its okay because I think he is a descendant of Abraham Lincoln and that's Present ENOUGH for me".
"Man I think martin is in training to be an Astronaut because I hear he is so heavy he wont bounce as much on the moon when he is collecting rocks and junk".
" I think martin is in training to be an Astronaut because due to the recession, NASA doesn't have to spend as much money on padding the space suit for thermal ventilation".
"I think Martin is in training for the Olympics because he has ignored all of my text messages. It must be Illegal to call him".
"Damn...I think Martin is playing for the Harlem globetrotters in 2007 cuz I barely saw him around".
"Martins must be a descendant of the Vikings because he's got enough body hair for a 72 hour bond fire".