So you want to be a Yuppie? Here's what you have to do.
Never act masculine. Masculine is macho, you know, and all the soccer moms just HATE anything masculine.
Never learn how to drive a stick shift like a man. Drive a wussy automatic, just like an old grandma. Or a chimpanzee. Step on your brakes all the time, just like an old lady. Ride your brakes going down all hills. Never learn how to gear down your transmission or take it out of overdrive.
Cultivate arrogance. Wear it on your face as a smug expression. Always talk down to waiters and service people, to let them know you're a hot-shit Yuppie. To prove your worth, always blow a trumpet fanfare when you lock your car. Be the first Yuppie on the block to buy a set of trumpets that blow when you lock your house. Everyone wants to hear trumpets, and they will all look up to you in awe and admiration.
Always jabber and prattle on your cell phone like an old lady gossiping. Everyone who sees you will admire you.
Learn to call problems "issues," just like a soccer mom. All the soccer moms will admire you for that.
Tell everyone you're going on vacation in Cancun or St. Tropez. That will surely score you big points with the soccer moms.
Always carry a PDA. The more useless things it does, the better. Show everyone how it can dial a phone and remind you it's time to go for your manicure. For extra points, let it remind you to go for a pedicure.
When a crowd is listening, pick up your cell phone and talk LOUDLY. Say "buy 40,000 shares of IBM."
Wherever you go, assume an air of entitlement. You are entitled to take your dog inside stores, despite the NO DOGS signs. You are entitled to use your cell phone in the movies. You are entitled to two parking spaces.
Trent is an insipid, smirking Yuppie. He is entitled to park his Lexus in the handicap parking place because he'll only be in the store for 20 minutes.
Usually a metrosexual- one who shops at stores named after people ie: Calvin Klein, Kenneth Cole, Ralph Lauren, Or Tommy Hilfiger. In addition, this person drives a nice car, most likely a BMW, and drinks large amounts of starbucks.
There is no way I am going into the AA meeting, I'll be the only yuppie there!
A yuppie is an acronym for a "Young Urban Prossesional." These people are, plainly, cunts. To go more in depth, these people are commonly white, but there is a large black and asian group as well. They commonly shop at brand name stores, or stores made/named after white people: Prada, Gucci, Calvin Klein. They drive luxury vehicles like BMWs and Jaguars. Yuppies usually have extremely gay names like Spencer, Hunter, Chad, Link, Randolph, Tucker, etc. They thoroughly enjoy money and flaunting just how much many they have. Like the Nazis were responsible for the Holocaust, yuppies are responsible for gentrification. They usually move into ethnic, working-class neighborhoods, purchase these low cost houses, knock them down and build luxury condos. They move here for a taste of culture and "urbanity," but then they wonder where all the culture has gone when the blue collar natives were forced to move away due to rising property taxes and no where to live. Places faced by this plag include: SoHo, Hell's Kitchen, Charlestown (MA).
Chad (Yuppie 1)- Hey hunter, would you enjoy playing tennis down by where the street hockey courts used to be?
Hunter (Yuppie 2)- Yes! Then we should jog to the local pub in our Prada jumpsuits!
Link (Yuppie 3)- Then we can go to my condo and listen to Jazz!
Seamus (blue collar worker)- Go fuck yourselves.
young, well to do (mostly white) people in urban areas who are trendy, talk on their cell phones, use their PDAs or laptops, drink coffee in Starbucks and drive a nice car.
Midtown Manhattan is yuppie central along with San Francisco, Seattle, Boston, Chicago, Washington DC
Synonyms: asshole, Bobo (burgeois bohemian), metrosexual, suburbanite,
Acronym for Young Urban Professional - typically a person who wants you to believe that they are superior to you due to their high-paying corporate job and social status. Activities include frequent purchases of expensive fuel-INefficient vehicles, extravagant clothing and jewelry, and anything that "elevates" them to a higher social standing.
Behavioral traits include intense arrogance, unhealthy preoccupation/obsession with the safety of their spawn, meeting with personal trainers, immeasurable selfishness, and constant obliviousness to anyone who does not have the same or greater "social status". Free thought is not allowed as it disrupts the balance of their world.
Habitat is restricted to excessively large, poorly-built houses (McMansions) which are frequently gated in to form a yuppie compound, typically called a subdivision or gated community. The compound is governed by a small group of fascists operating under the moniker of a neighborhood association. The compound is erected to provide the ILLUSION of a safe and secure environment for the yuppies to raise their spawn.
Yuppie religion is restricted to the Cult of the Dollar.
The yuppie is the scourge of the free-thinking world.
Self absorbed pompous, selfish, spoiled and morally corrupt individuals between the ages of 25 and 40. Usually have a master’s degree and a hot wife or girlfriend. They love $7.00 cups of coffee, European cars, designer clothing, outrageously expensive homes and watching the stock market 24/7.
They’ll have one or two kids that tend to be little versions of their parents – spoiled, loud and demand attention. Their wives never work and spend most of their time at the mall, at the spa, at Starbucks with other yuppie wives or banging the pool boy because they’re husbands are too busy making more money.
Yuppie - Oh dear, I can't fit the baby seat in the Porsche.
A pretentious and selfish professional person who is so arrogant, he blows a trumpet fanfare every time he locks or unlocks his car, to show you how great he is.
Yuppie (locking Lexus): BEEP! BEEP!
Me: Hey! Lock your car like a MAN, not like a yuppie!