"Eh..it was a busy night. It's very difficult being a teenager working for minimum wage and pulling seven hour shifts and then having to come home to perform YouTubal ligations on certain family members because it's 3 am and someone is watching clips from old Dane Cook shows and listening to techno with the speakers on full blast!"
"Wow, need a Starbucks?"
"Vicodin. Bring me Vicodin."