L.Ron Hubbard suggests the team keep the station intact to allow research on its technology, insisting that any garnered information will be valuable in the coming war against the Evil Space-Lord Xenu. Tom Cruise uses a Thetan pulse to kill the Collectors and allows Scientology to take control of the station. After Tom Cruise and his team destroy the Evil Space-Lord, the surviving squad members escape to the DC-8 SR-2. The DC-8 SR-2 undergoes repairs following the mission; Isaac Hayes acquires schematics of a Evil Space-Lord from the Collector General after he is released from Evil Space-Lord Xenu's control as a final act of defiance against the Evil Space-Lord as the station is eradicated of all life forms from a Thetan charge. Evil Space-Lord Xenu and the rest of the Space-Lords awaken from hibernation and begin emerging from dark space and start their long journey towards the Milky Way, setting the stage for OT IX.
Xenu is also the one who will provide all the Wogs with mecha to destroy $cient0l0gy!
more information: www.xenu.net
Man, I can't wait for Xenu to give us our mecha so we can destroy that fucked up cult!
Jimmy: (pointing at sky) Damn you, Xenu!!
With his Galactic Fleet consisting of millions of space planes, Xenu used an innocent ruse of "income tax inspections" and used the friendly help of pyschiatrists to lure and administer harmless injections to billions of Confederate aliens into his fleet of ships. They were to be the sacraficial lamb for the greater good. They were subsequently frozen and packed into the space planes for removal. This was completely painless for the citizens involved.
Taking our alien lambs to Teegeeack (known as "Earth" to humans) our Dark Lord Xenu ordered his Exalted Renegades to latch the aliens to volcanoes where he quickly and humanely eliminated them. However, Xenu did not take into account the souls of the alien lambs. The souls, called "Thetans" by some, flew free. Xenu knew that they needed to be re-educated to forget about what had transpired, so he ordered the Exalted Renegades to catch the souls in Elecric Ribbons and re-educate them using a 3D Super-Colossal Motion Picture. The souls were given visions of modern worldly religions and then released to the world suffering from a loss of identity.
The re-educated souls flocked together to form clusters and inhabited the few remaining bodies that survived the explosions. These souls have transferred from person to person throughout each individual's life cycle. These clusters of souls are known to some as "Body Thetans," but the true followers off Xenu refer to them merely as "Soul Clusters." Some believe they cause all of the problems of mankind. However, this is not true. Instead, they grant us immense inner power.
But, as many things are, it was not to be. During the mass alien Exodus, Lord Xenu's Exalted Renegades were locked in heated battle with a group of evil disbelievers who addressed themselves as "Loyal Officers." They may be loyal, but not to Xenu. Rumor has it that the Loyal Officers are trying to reform, but that has mostly been dismissed as nonsense.
The Loyal Officers were defeated once, then retreated to the dark corners of the Confederate territory to regroup and rebuild. With a surprise attack, the Loyal Officers ambushed our merciful Dark Lord. They ruthlessly enslaved him in a force-field prison that is powered by an eternally-charged battery.
Im rideing a DC-8 for xenu
xenu wants you