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8.
As a Wyomissing resident and former student here is my retort to the above remarks. The most overlooked aspect of the district of Wyomissing is its fellow borough, West Reading. Wyomissing is composed of two parts, the borough of Wyomissing and the borough of West Reading. Wyomissing is defined by its luscious park system, bordered by rich houses and mansions. West Reading however, is an extension of the crime-ridden city of Reading which often earns top honors in crime, murder, and rape rates. The citizens of West Reading are mostly illegal immigrants and other fatherless families deprived of guidance and money. These kids are thrown into a school system along with the wealthy children of the doctors, lawyers, and business owners working in the city of Reading. The high school system is split up into levels by subject. These levels are AP, honors, academic, and comprehensive. Most of the rich kids wind up filling there schedules with the most AP and honors courses that will fit; many of Wyomissing’s brightest also take extra AP courses in the summer to further enhance their already spilling over GPA. The academic and comprehensive classes are composed of the illegals of West Reading as well as the rich kids overwhelmed by the success of their older siblings. These younger brothers and sisters, deprived of attention because of the genius of their siblings, find refuge in either the increasingly popular “gothic” attitude or pose as a ghetto West Reading thug formerly from Green Street. These kids sleep through class at the academic level putting together GPA’s of around 2.1, while the honors and AP level kids are viciously fighting to join the elite ranks of the top ten percent of the class. To reach this level of genius, one must earn a GPA of at least a 5.1. Yes that’s right, 5.1 and this is on a scale of 4. To reach this unthinkable feat, one must take the maximum available AP courses and fill the rest of their schedule with honors courses. Those striving for the ultimate, unreachable goal of valedictorian sacrifice their normal summer stay in Nantucket or Rehoboth to stay home and pick up some more AP credits to slap on their résumé.

The faculty at Wyomissing is also seemingly split up in to honors and academic level. Several AP teachers hail from prestigious universities such as Penn and Bucknell, while some of the academic teachers seem to struggle with the material themselves. The honors English department is filled with old ladies over 80 who, in their time, teaching was the only scholarly position for a woman. Because of this, class must be supplemented with pocket dictionaries so that even the brightest of students can pickup what the instructor is lecturing on, and the average weekend essay for your first semester sophomores is a comparison between the philosophy’s of Albert Einstein and Simon Weil (not yet at the fine University of Virginia have I come across an essay topic so difficult). The history department contains male professors with very strong opinions on their topic. Very subtly they attempt to persuade their students to their side of the political arena. The mathematics department tends to hire former students of Wyomissing, still living of their parent’s money and teaching simply to get away from home and begin affairs with students. The science department contains bitter veterans, fired from their former careers in nuclear physics, and stuck in Wyomissing until the next position opens up in the field of bio-chemical engineering.

Athletics at Wyomissing are reprehensibly successful at a level in which every competing school is well over three times their size. Wyomissing especially excels in the “rich sports” (tennis, golf, girls soccer). This is easily apparent by the fact that the boys tennis team has not lost a match in almost a decade, and the girls team wins states more often than not. Even more impressive, the football team which sometimes struggles to find enough players and always lacks size put together 25 winning seasons in the last 26 years including several district championships and trips to states. Previous Wyomissing offensive linemen measuring up at 5’6”, 145 lbs. have lined up against AAAA powerhouses, proceeding to knocked them off the ball. Almost every Wyomissing athletic team as a deep history of success, and an athletic history could not go without mentioning the four straight state championships by the girls cross country team from 2000-2004.

Athletics play a large role in social life, which is demonstrated at the lunch tables in the school cafeteria. Boy’s tables are split up by sport and level, while the girl’s tables are divided by level of easiness. The girls are pretty, one or two families bless the school with year after year of exceptionally beautiful girls who are worshiped as demi-gods by the envious boys from across the cafeteria. It also seems that each class has one guy who gets every girl while the rest of mankind suffers companionlessly.

If you have made it this far in my rant you are either intrigued by my writing style or waiting for my point. Before I come to my conclusion I would like to dispel a few inaccuracies stated in my fellow long-winded “definitions” of Wyomissing. Never have I come across a water polo player from Wyomissing, and the lacrosse club was just started in 2006. Also the first Starbucks in Wyomissing went up in the fall of ’05. The party life is minute in comparison to the drinking that occurs across the way in Wilson territory, and drug use is less and less common. I would estimate only 6 or 7 Wyomissingites and a few more West Reading thugs frequently do drugs. Finally to my point, Wyomissing is a town not just of the rich but of the poor; not just the genius but the dumb; not just the nerds but the jocks; not just the sluts but the prudes. In short Wyomissing is an institution and township of extremes. Not one label fits, but many must be considered.
Wyomissing the home of the rich and the poor.
by lpo May 24, 2006
 
1.
Wyomissing is one of the top ranked public schools in United States, let alone Pa. Anyone talking shit against Wyo is either jealous or has no idea what the hell they are talking about. Yes there is old money here, and sometimes that's sickening to deal with, but for the most part it is hard working parents who want to see the very best for their kids. I grew up in a humble part of Berks and moved to Wyo years later...so I know both sides of the tracks.
The Sports teams are well coached and the coaches themselves are very well respected. For such a small enrollment, they make the most of their talent. I am proud of the Spartans and their commitment to winning.
Word..and shit.

Now, for the downside of all this great education..
The school taxes here are out of control and the Superintendent is the biggest bitch in the East.
After everything is said and done, Wyomissing has a great tradition of being an all around great school for kids.
1
by An Old Man July 10, 2008
 
2.
As someone who lives in the heart of Wyomissing I am really surprised by all the comments on this board. Wyomissing is not just for wealthy people. There are plenty of houses that are not mansions. There are semis, townhomes, and condos as well. No one in my neighborhood or any of the blocks around us drive a BMW or Mercedes. They are just regular hard working people. These posts all sound like they are made from the same teenagers. It is sad that is the image that they are portraying about this adorable suburb. The houses are old and charming and there is a gorgeous park system.
Wyomissing is a beautiful area to live in.

by MelHerb July 10, 2008
 
3.
As an honors student and resident of West Reading, I was definitely interested in reading your twisted thoughts of the city I have lived in for the majority of my life. I always find it entertaining when I hear people talk about how they cannot walk through West Reading without getting shot. That's bull shit. I am not an illegal immigrant. I have not grown up in broken family. Just because I have not grown up in a family of doctors or lawyers does not mean that I am a worthless idiot nor do I feel at all inferior to my rich Wyomissing peers. In fact, in at least one respect, I feel that I am ahead of them, by which I mean some, including the writer of this wonderful definition, and not all, since I do not stereotype like others. I feel that I am ahead because I do not make such ignorant statements like the writer of this entry does. Have you ever lived in West Reading? Do you have any first-hand experience in the city whatsoever? If the answers to these questions are no, then you have no right to be making such statements.
In case you are thinking that I may be one exception of someone who does not live in Wyomissing but is not like other West Reading residents, I know many other people in West Reading who are in honors classes and go against your definition of a West Reading citizen as well.
by rslwyo January 11, 2009
 
4.
A typical middle class town in southeastern PA. Because someone from a surrounding town got the wrong idea when they saw one of the very few mansions in town, they seem to have gotten the idea that everyone here is rich, snobby, overconfident, and/or over medicated. Not even close to the truth. Turns out, these kids have to babysit and shovel walkways like the rest of you to make their spending money. While most are 'comfortable' (not living paycheck to paycheck or in boxes on street corners), nobody is living in the OC, buddy. Also, its not fair to assume that people living in West Reading are illegal immigrants. It makes you sound like a douche.
'Oh you're from Wyomissing? You must have some good coke connections!'

'Nope, closest I ever got to blow was watching Johnny Depp.'
by realreal December 19, 2009
 
5.
Wyomissing. Where to begin. Wyomissing is an upper class city outside of Reading PA. Everyone thinks we're preppy jerks. That is, for the most part, true. But people highly over exaggerate the attitude of the general populous of Wyomissing.
I live in this city. Always have. Does my family own any BMWs, Mercs, or Lexuses? No. Does a large chunk of Wyo? Yes. But can't judge a city till you've met everyone.
Where I live Bitch!!!! Wyomissing!
by E......... May 18, 2007
 
6.
wow just for the record, everyone has definately blown it out of proportion. Although I don't like where I live, you've got a lot of it wrong. First of all, we don't have a water polo team, therefore, not every person in wyo plays that sport. Nobody goes to the f***ing starbucks...hard bean is where it's at and people from other schools hang out there too. Obviously, you are confusing the majority with the minority because not every single person goes to a party every night to get high and wasted. As much as you don't want to believe it, some of us are human beings and we go to movies and coffee shops to JUST TALK. Fyi, not all of us are the geniuses that you think we are. I know a good number of rich whores that can't tell left from right. We are good at sports and there are quite a few rich people that happen to get everything they want, but again, that is NOT everyone. You may see this as a crusade for wyomissing and it's defense, but you are wrong. It is merely a clarifying gesture so that if you decide to criticize wyomissing, you should make sure you get it right and know exactly what the hell you are talking about.
Person A: Oh, I want a new car!
Person A's parent: Anything you want pumpkin so that you can run our family into the ground in debt and disgrace. After all, we live in Wyomissing and we are all so perfect!

sarcasm
by S May 22, 2006
 
7.
aka as wyo

1. filthy rich town outside of reading. pa

2. a pile of crap

3. a high school full of rich spoiled rotten pricks with spiked hair that buy all their clothes at the Hollister store and drive their mommy and daddy's bmw/lexus/benz to school.
Hey, watch out! don't step on the stinking pile of wyo over there that just came out of a dogs ass.

Q: Hey, did you see that spoiled rotten kid over there drivin his moms lexus at the Hollister store?

A: Yeah, he is from Wyomissing - go figure

Haha!! Wyomissing got their asses handed to them in that soccer game!
by wyosucksballsprickland December 16, 2009