A plain old massive cock, johnson, penis, tallywhacker, wang, dick, willie, pink torpedo, schlong and/or twig and berries.
We're talking huge here.
Dude 1: "Ouch, what happened to your head?"
Dude 2: "Some guy's Wong Tong his me in the head in the locker room, gave me a cuncussion."
Dude 1: "Uff. Was he hard?"
Dude 2: "As a brick! He's probably gay."
Chick: "A shame."