Jehovas witness protection program 

The non-existent government program we wish we were in when you know who comes knocking.

{Ding-Dong}
(Troy) Ah man... (Carl) What? What is it?

(Troy) Just those pesky Jay Dubz.
(Carl) Man, you should get in the Jehovas witness protection program.

Jehovas witness protection program by Cat Narsh May 17, 2011

jahova's witness protection program 

This is when a person deperstly avoids any contact with a Jahovahs witness when one (or sometimes many) approache(s)you with pamphlets and or other intrusive methods of religious conversion. These white shirt wearing mountain bike riding bible thumping extremists are often hard to get rid of. There are different degrees and extremes of this religious harassment which may have varying degrees of reaction from the victim which may include avoiding known Jahova's hot spots, getting a guard dog or relocating to an area with no forwarding address.

"Hi, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ? Oh hell no, I'm in the Jahova's witness protection program how did you find me?!?

jahova's witness protection program by Toddzilla72 July 20, 2016

Witless Protection Program 

Witless Protection Program (wit less pro tek shun pro gram) NOUN. An organization devoted to saving clueless people from the consequences of their stupidity.

Molly- Did you just threaten to kill the president?

Conrad- No, I said he's going to get shot.

Molly- How would you know?

Conrad- He's GOT to, nobody's going to stand for Obama giving a million dollars to every black person in the country!

Molly- What makes you think he's going to do that?

Conrad- Oh it's obvious. You know the way all those blacks work together.

(she scribbles something on a scrap of paper).

Molly- You are going to need this number.

Conrad- Who's this?

Molly- That's the number for the Witless Protection Program.

Witless Protection Program by Maxhole June 25, 2009

witless protection program 

When your friends have more comebacks and sarcasm than you. Also, you have no comeback at all or strain to say something, but something stupid and useless comes out. Not so witty, go to the back of the class.

Another word for "you suck".

Witless: "I wish I'd said that."
Wiseass: "Dude, welcome to the Witless Protection Program"

witless protection program by EmilPicasso.com September 6, 2010