1) The place where the elderly go to die....but only after they drive slowly in the left lane in their obnoxiously large, white, American cars.
2) A city in Florida with an ass ton of inconveniently placed lakes.
3) Downtown Orlampa.
4) Snowbird central.
Person 1: Dammit! Why is this person in a Grand Marquis driving in the left lane 20 mph under the speed limit parallel to this guy in the Crown Victoria?!?!
Person 2: Because they're old, senile, and about to die. But I guess you'd drive slowly too if you couldn't see over the steering wheel...
Person 1: Wait...why the hell does Winter Haven have more lakes than Lakeland?
Person 2: Good question...
Person 1: Should we go to Warped Tour in Orlando or Tampa?
Person 2: Both!! Hells yeah for living in Orlampa!
Person 1: Why is everything so crowded all of a sudden??
Person 2: The snowbirds have migrated... They need to GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A city in Central Florida almost directly between Tampa and Orlando! Not much to do but sit in a parking lot and BS with friends, drink at house parties (that you're not allowed inside for), and hang out on the lakes. It is the location of Cypress Gardens Adventure Park. Beware of the ALLIGATORS! They're everywhere!
My friends and I live in Winter Haven where we have nothing better to do than waist time doing nothing.
Probably the strangest place on Earth. Populated by the ugliest and ignorant people.
I went to the Wal-Mart in Winter Haven and I saw two women that weighed 675 lbs, had two teeth and were wearing bikinis!