My new hooked on wiggers learning program. 14 easy steps to be a stupid ass wigger, listen closely.
1. Learn the native language ( dis, dat, fo sho, skreet, axe, playa, foo cracka, snap...ect.)
2. Get your latest edition of Dubs even though you're probably 4 years to young to drive.
3. Make a "Gang" and threaten to kill people with your "guns".
4. Say "nigga" so you'll fit in, and it's the most you can get away with.
5. Wear a jersey half on half on, that way you won't be too hot or too cold.
6. Spend all of your drug money on "platinum" so it looks like you got into a fit with a roll of tin foil.
7. NEVER wear a hat the right way either: upside down/backwards, sideways/upside down, right side up/to the left, backwards/up your ass.
8. Get clothes 3 times too big just incase you need to make a parachute.
9. Wear your pants to your knees for easy access.
10. Buy any of the following clothing brands: Ekco, Phat Farm, South Pole, or Fubu.
11. Write a few raps. Ex.- Yo yo yo, I da noo santa ho ho ho, yall look at me da playa, sittin on ma sleigh-ya, ya betta not mess with ghetto santa, cause cracka I am da daddy macka...werd to ya mutha homie!
12. If someone has a "beef" do ever think of resolving it humanly, shoot them.
13. Walk with a limp, even if you don't have crap in your pants, it will be in your head.
14. Drink the following beverages daily: Crunk juice. Pimp juice, Ice-T, and so on.
..........HAPPY WIGGER DAYS...........
-No offense to real black gangstas...offense only to white wankstas.
Often characterized by his car, or "whip": usually an econobox modified with at least twice the car's book value in non-power producing modifications or an SUV with at least 5500 lbs. of curb weight. Traditional trucks can also qualify here, depending on locale (southern states' percentages are higher). All vehicles are also mandated to have at least 19" chrome alloy wheels, regardless of make. The typical wigger is also characterized by a strong desire to adorn gold jewlery (especially heavy gold chains) and athletic warm up suits. All equipment and clothing will be paid for by the parents of the individual in question, or the parents of said individual's "shorty" through the use of said shorty's credit cards.
A general disposition of "hard" will be displayed among other wiggers and to kids around their neighbohood (usually labelled a 'subdivision' or 'gated community' due to its mass produced housing develoment origins). This disposition will immediately be dropped and replaced by a more typical "white boy" disposition when in the presence of actual African Americans ( with exceptions: Those whose origins trace to the suburbs being the most prominant.).
Typical Suburban White Girl: "Didn't you get that Do-rag at Hot topic?"
Wigger: "Yeah, well.. you know how we do!"
"No beef, man, no beef!"
Normal Person: What?
Wigger: Yo Nigga Be it up to My omiez down frum da westside of da bronx Brutha Know whaddym Sayin
Normal Person: Learn to speak english
Wigger: whaddu yooz talkin bout niggah, diz iz inglish innit?
Normal Person: No, Thats oompaloompaish or whatever foreign language you speak
-"yo step off son get out of ma grill i'm'a bust a cap in yo ass fool dont make me get ma dawgs on yo ass, its about to get bloody in in here, i'll get ma shawty to sit on yo ass with her ghettttto bootay!"
-"yo dawg y u frontin?"