The linebacker-esque girl who strangely resembles Kentucky Derby Speed Champ Secretariat that appears at every party ever thrown. Though she can't run the 1 and a 1/4 miles in under 2 minutes, she can hook up with your friends rather rapidly. In fact, every male she's mated with is in some way connected to your social inner circle. What's worse, the whorse has acquired so many mates she no longer recognizes her own physical limitations and begins to think her box is the hottest ticket in town.
Jordan: "F'sho. I didn't think he was the kind of guy to go for a Mr. Ed look-a-like, but being a virgin for 20 years and getting drunk for the first time can drive a man to do strange things."
Mike: "Hey, Eric. I remember my first beer."