|1.||Whidbey Island whales|
Morbidly obese (i.e. overweight, fat, tubby, huge, and occasionally "big-boned") Women in the Oak Harbor/Island County of Whidbey Island, Washington. These creatures are of the pachyderm family, are mammals, and are the largest land animals alive today. Their habitat includes country bars, cheap nightclubs, and many of the fast food locations across the northwestern state of Washinton and southern Canada. W.I.W's are omnivores, spending 16 hours a day collecting junk food, beer, and large supply of Man-Beef. Their diet is at least 50% Hotdogs, supplemented with grease, burgers, fries, chips, candy, and small amounts of fruit juice, lean cuisine and diet coke. Scientists belive that because they only digest 40% of what they eat, they have to make up for their digestive system's lack of efficiency in volume. An adult W.I.W can consume 300–600 lb (140–270 kg) of food a day. 60% of that food leaves their body undigested, which is why they smell funny. They also give fantastic blowjobs.
Steve Irwin: CRIKEY! Do you see thaht? What you ar now lookin' at is one of the many Innnnfamous Whidbey Island Whales! We got to be veeery careful as not to disturb hher in hher hhabitat. Lets go in for a closer look! Goregeous!