Top definition
The female version of the males' 'Abuse the noodle'.

To masturbate.

Best used through the means of teledildonics aka phone shag.
Man: Ahh yeah baby I'm abusing the noodle. Whack your pastry for me.

Woman: I'll whack the pastry for you, baby.
by DeadDolleh June 29, 2009
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