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34.
A breeding ground for Mutant Militants and a testing ground for polutants and the Auto Industry.
After 3 years of first hand witnessing the qualities of West Viginia and it's people. I'm throughly convinced John Denver with a choke in his throat and a tear in his eye was begging his Minnie Pearl want-to-be captor to take him HOME; TO COLORADO!!!
Bubble-Headed Bubba driving an emission control stripped piece of crap J-car with flames paintd on it doing 90mph on his way from a White Lightening Festival heading to his Uncle-Daddys KKK Rally.
One out of every three will develop cancer directly related to the unregulated pollution.
The South would rise again if Bubba didn't mistakenly shoot everything that raises it's head in the name of Deer Hunting.
Chuck Yeager? HA! Let's build up the ego of the biggest moron and stick his ass on a rocket and see what happens! Works for me!
This could be a never ending saga of totally true incidents of real life in Wild and Wonderful West Virginia none of which would has or ever would be a pleasure.

I've never met an Honest West Virginian I didn't like; I don't like West Virginians.

West Virginians
Some people shine by being in the background
Some people shine by being in the foreground
These people don't shine so they just make noise.

AFTER THEIR 11TH CHILD, A WEST VIRGINIA HILLBILLY COUPLE DECIDED THAT WAS ENOUGH AS THEY COULD NOT AFFORD A LARGER BED.
SO THE HILLBILLY HUSBAND WENT TO HIS VETERINARIAN AND TOLD HIM THAT HE AND HIS COUSIN DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE ANYMORE CHILDREN.
THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM THAT THERE WAS A PROCEDURE CALLED A VASECTOMY THAT COULD FIX THE PROBLEM BUT THAT IT WAS EXPENSIVE. A LESS COSTLY ALTERNATIVE " SAID THE DOCTOR, "IS TO GO HOME GET A CHERRY BOMB." "LIGHT IT PUT IT IN A BEER CAN THEN HOLD THE CAN UP TO YOUR EAR AND COUNT TO 10."
THE HILLBILLY SAID TO THE DOCTOR "I MAY NOT BE THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED BUT I DON'T SEE HOW PUTTING A CHERRY BOMB IN A BEER CAN NEXT TO MY EAR IS GOING TO HELP ME."
"TRUST ME" SAID THE DOCTOR.
SO THE HILLBILLY WENT HOME LIT A CHERRY BOMB AND PUT IT IN A BEER CAN. HE HELD THE CAN UP TO HIS EAR AND BEGAN TO COUNT:"1-2-3-4-5-AT WHICH POINT HE PAUSED PLACED THE BEER CAN BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND RESUMED COUNTING ON HIS OTHER HAND.
THIS PROCEDURE ALSO WORKS IN KENTUCKY ALABAMA ARKANSAS GEORGIA N&S CAROLINA TENNESSEE AND NORTH FLORIDA

General Tips for WV Rednecks
* Never take a beer to a job interview.
* Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
* It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
* If you have to vacuum the bed it is time to change the sheets.
* Even if you're certain that you are included in the will it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

Dining Out
* When decanting wine make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
* If drinking directly from the bottle always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

Entertaining in your home
* A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
* Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners are.

Personal Hygiene
* While ears need to be cleaned regularly this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
* Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However if you live alone deodorant is a waste of good money.
* Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

Dating (outside the family)
* Always offer to bait your date's hook especially on the first date.
* Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
* Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Theater Etiquette
* Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
* Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

Weddings
* Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
* Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
* For the groom at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
* Though uncomfortable say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Driving Etiquette
* Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
* When approaching a four-way stop the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
* Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
* When sending your wife down the road with a gas can it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
* Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
A typical WV Hunting emergency goes like this:
A couple of hillbilly hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other hillbilly starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone.
He frantically calls 911 and blurts out to the operator,
"O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?"
The operator trying to calm him says,
"Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions.
First let's make sure he's dead."
There's a short pause and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!
The hillbilly comes back on the line and says "OK, now what?"

If you don't believe any of this you haven't met my neighbors!
by Bubba Be Gone November 28, 2006
63 190
 
1.
We're not Virginia.
I don't know why I'm still in West Virginia. I'm 28 years old.
by lis May 28, 2003
1115 212
 
2.
A very discriminated state. A bunch of wankers on this site have been calling it 'nothing but a bunch of rednecks'. Truth is, they couldn't even tell you where that title originated from. In circa 1860 western Virginia broke apart from Virginia to join the Union....Which is AGAINST slavery. The Union was a coalition of states that would fight for a good moral cause against slavery. This is where the term "redneck" comes into play. Groups of West Virginian guerillas (anyone here know what those are?) fought the South (pro-slavery) while at the time wearing red bandannas around their necks. Thus, earning them the title "Rednecks".

And then there is all of these ignorant kids saying WV is full of hicks and dumbarses. Mind you we have raised the following famous people: Homer Hickam (led the way for NASA with homemade rockets), Chuck Yeager (first person to break the speed of sound and a very accomplished WWII pilot),Booker T. Washington (no, he's not a wrestler so you know, he was the first African American to ever start his own school, The Tuskeegee Institute BTW every West Virginian doesn't watch wrestling as a favorite past time either, I just happened to have glanced at the show before), and there is a lot (not alot, but a lot), lot more who those that were'n't born in West Virginia would even care about, but instead just said "Hey! I don't know that anyone famous ever came from West Virginia, so how about I bang my head against the keyboard and hope that this poorly put together flame of West Virginia of mine works!"

Now look at that, I just flamed you bunch of noobs who thought that West Virginia was really just a peice of crap, even though we were home to the Millionaire capitol of the United States in Brambwell, West Virginia. And guess what, this extraordinary dis that showed the true stupidity of some of the United States came from a fourteen year old highschooler. Peace out.
I think its really the West coast that is a bunch of dumbasses. I mean, I've got to be smarter that half of you kiddies who have posted here and I am only number 37 out of 117 people in my class.
by Your Executioner June 25, 2005
900 424
 
3.
a state that is grossly oversterotyped
West Virginia has terrible driving.
-in fact WV is ranked higher in driving ability than most states
by country girl September 16, 2006
595 210
 
4.
The state with the country's lowest crime rate, year after year. A place where the air is clean and you can drive even on an Interstate without seeing another car. "It's all relative"? Yes, but not in the way that many people took it. When I meet someone from "home," it often turns out that we have cousins, albeit distant ones, in common.
I grew up in a West Virginia town that was home to a state mental hospital with a wing for what were then called "criminally insane" (much scarier sounding than "defective delinquents"). One misty, late-summer evening when I was about fourteen, a friend and I were alone in my house playing a board game when we heard on the radio that some inmates of that wing had escaped. We did something very unusual for that time and place, and when my father came home about half an hour later, he was surprised to find the door locked.
by Transplanted mountain girl April 27, 2006
397 171
 
5.
1. A STATE! Believe it or not.

2. Pretty decent football team-The Mountaineers. Marshall thinks they can hang with us, they have an inferiority complex. Go back to I-AA!

3. We suceeded from Virginia back during the Civil War because, quite frankly, they were weak.
I once told a cabbie from Virginia that I was from West Virginia. He didn't know where that was. I punched him in the face and stole his cab. Sucker.
by Erix December 09, 2003
489 285
 
6.
One of America's poorest states. New Yorkers who claim to be "tolerant" and then make jokes about Appalachians which they would never dare make about blacks or gays deserve a hard punch in the face.

West Virginia has been screwed and betrayed by the rich Bi-Coastal fat cats.

Witness the way the Elites behaved towards Jessica Lynch; they competed to exploit her. The CIA, the Pentagon, Tim Robbins, the Feminists, the Right, the Left, the media, the Metropolitan Elite...all GUILTY of RAPING Jessica Lynch.

Someday, there will be vengeance.
Chuck Yaeger, John Nash, Homer Hickam, Jessica Lynch are famous West Virginians, and are vastly superior to any of the worhtless, parasitic New York intelectuals.

West Virginians don't rape sheep, but New Yorkers raped Jessica Lynch.
by A Guy February 05, 2005
336 219
 
7.
A rugged, poverty stricken state with a naturally beautiful landscape and a unique population. West Virginia's poor economic infrastructure stems from the lack of an urban white-collar economy and collapse of the coal industry. The largest city in the entire state is Charleston, which is home to a mere 185,000 residents. However, the lack of a powerful economy has prevented suburban mall districts and McMansion golf course homes from destroying rural areas (as is common in most southern states). The result of this commercial isolation, rural living, and blue-collared work force is a truly authentic group of people who can only be defined as Mountaineers (which is the team name of West Virginia University). These Mountaineers are characterized by a love of the outdoors, a fondness of reckless partying, thier nasal southern/midwestern hybrid accent, and their generally gregarious attitudes. West Virginians usually inhabit small towns of about 15,000-45,000 where people live in modest homes on large sects of land, which explains the passion for all things outdoors. And with the beautiful, mountainous landscape, it is a perfect place to be an outdoorsman (especially in fall/winter). However, a large problem with West Virginia is fraud from those collecting from the goverment by either women who have pawned their children off on their parents, or by former laborers who file false claims of injury to collect money and prescriptions. Couple that with the large amount of productive young people who migrate to cities such as Baltimore, Pittsburgh, NYC, and Philadelphia, and there are not many young people with college experience who stay in the state.

In short, West Virginia is a pretty place without a city worth mention. Most people who live here are very easy going and fun, but also relatively uneducated and poor.
The state slogan is "West Virginia: Wild, Wonderful", and if it were ignoring economy, this would be a perfect description. Which is the reason I had to leave for Pittsburgh.
by Frank Drebin October 10, 2005
293 194