|1.||Water Panda (Aqueous pandias)|
The Water Panda, also known by its scientific name (Aqueous pandias) is a rare indigenous creature known to reside in the small oasis of Umbrella Falls, Guyana. The Water Panda, to date, has only been seen 3-7 times in its natural habitat. The history of the Water Panda dates back to the beginning of time. Currently, there are 3 different species of aquatic pandas classified by the WPCP Water Panda Conservation Project. The fresh water panda, salt water panda and the aquatic polar panda. All of which share very similar characteristics. The Water panda mainly eats shoots and leaves but loves apples (only red ones) as well as watermelon push-pops and hate asparagus.
1. A Water Panda (Aqueous pandias) walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want an apple and watermelon push-pop, make it red and hold the asparagus." The barman took his order and the Water Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter brought over the meal, the Water Panda ate it up, thanked, tipped the waiter and paid his bill.
All seemed normal until the Water Panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter dead.
The barman rushed over and said: "What the hell?!!! You just shot my friend!!!" The Panda calmly replied: "Do you know what I am?" "Of Course I do," the barman answered, "you're a Water Panda!" "Good," the Panda replied, "now go home and look me up in the dictionary." And with that, the Panda walked out of the bar.
The barman was a little unsure, but he was very eager to be enlightened on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his Urban dictionary and after a while he found 'Water Panda' and quickly read the definition...
WATER PANDA: 1. A badass black and white bear native to Guyana, Eats shoots and leaves.