2. 40% of Wasatchers are carriers of mono, the clap, and/or Mercer Island pubic beetles.
3. A 19 year old senior trolling for 12-13 year old girls is NOT considered perverted, sick, or gross but rather cool and "romantic".
4. You've spent four years of your life tripping on cough syrup and huffing windex. After a few months/a year of community college, you drop out to live with your parents, who soon give you the boot after you snort 500 mg of adderall off the coffee table. A bright future as a freeloader, myspace band member, and/or SLC gutter punk.
Senior #2: HAHAHAHAHA! Hella wasatch!