Like masturbation, only dirtier. Mainly performed by: 1) Men of any age fantasizing about having sex (usually) with someone famous or someone who wouldn't have real sex with them in a million years. 2) What your mother does to men to feed her drug habbit. 3) A perfectly normal act ensuring your mother has to look at weird stains on your underwear and sheets. 4) An act usually performed whilst lying on a single bed with your eyes tight shut. 5) Something you do when bored. 6) An act that makes you believe you're the best lover in the world....or you will be when you start having sex for real. 7) Something that old guy down the road made you do to him for a bag of sweets. 8) Something every male does, but no-one admits to it. 9) An act that usually ends with the participant saying, "YES!" or "EWWW!" depending on the angle of the penis. 10) What you're doing right now as you read these definitions of wanking...
"I refute all allegations that I was out of order. Wanking at a funeral is perfectly normal"

"Sorry for waking you up mummy, but I've discovered this new thing called 'wanking' and I wanted to show you what happens at the end. Shall I get you a tissue?"
by Doctor Phew August 14, 2011

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What you do late at night
Barry was home alone went to pornhub and started wanking
by Firing looper August 10, 2014

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self abuse with a copy of mayfair
i love it at night when i'm wanking
by tom millhouse March 02, 2004

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self-indulgent pontificating or arguing, full of sound and fury but generally signifying (and accomplishing) nothing
The Committee started wanking about Robert Rules' of Order and as a result didn't get anything important done for the rest of the meeting.
by theplaz September 16, 2012

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hitting a bong, or masturbating
hey mc shuljr wanna come wanking with my bong?
by peckerpenispants February 08, 2011

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Creamin' it up with your homies.
"I'm wanking it up with my socks on!"
"Go get me a carrot."
by chickunman June 15, 2003

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Discussing an unimportant, obscure issue for a long time
The Committee started wanking about Robert Rules' of Order and as a result didn't get anything important done for the rest of the meeting.
by theplaz September 16, 2012

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The most epic dance in the history of epic dances.
we should go wanking to an epic beat.
by Alien Lmaos September 27, 2010

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