An empty carapice of a person who has been abducted by aliens and has been brainwashed with extremely conservative, Republican, and evangelical ideals. The walmartian is actually part of a massive conspiracy to overthrow the American government by voting for horrid right wing politicians and destroying local economies. Walmartians are forced to spend the majority of their lives in Walmarts so that they can be brainwashed with the newest alien plans. They are most often spotted at 2-5 AM in very large groups talking loudly with hick dialects and beating their wives/children/husbands while trying to find the gunrack aisle. They lack any intelligence and cannot be reasoned with. If you come into contact with one, avoid eye contact and try to remain absolutely still. The walmartian cannot see movement due to the bright lights in their hives.
1. James: I heard the walmartians are going to nominate Judge Roy Moore for president.
Robert: Shit, we're all screwed.
2. Alexa: Last time I went to Walmart, I got stuck in line between two packs of walmartians.
People that love to shop at Wal-Mart. Brag about shopping there and all the money that they save by buying cheaply made products made in China. Also, some of the fugliest people you will see massed in one area.
- Man, I swear there are a lot of Wal-Martians here today.
- What the hell are you talking about, there are ALWAYS alot of Wal-Martians here.
- Have you ever noticed that these Wal-Martians are actually very ugly?
- That's why they shop here.
Sloth-like dumbshit that can be found 'grazing' at any Walmart at any time. Usually morbidly obese with a gaggle of hoosierlings. They walk as slow as they can right in front of you and won't let you pass especially when you know exactly what you want and exactly where it is.
God damn, I hate all these fucking Walmartians! Don't they have something better to do with themselves besides commenting on all this stupid cheap bullshit? Make a decision you sorry excuse for a consumer!
Individuals who frequent Wal-Mart and consider it the social event of the day. Usually accompanied by a blank stare, inane conversation, ususally in the middle of an aisle, and more than likely, some sort of combination of bedclothes and trailer park chic fashions.
" I went to Wal-mart today and it was full of Wal-Martians, just standing around, taking up space, and sucking the intelligence out of me as I walked past.
Those who shop exclusively at Walmart. They are identified by their outdated style of dress and hair. Most also have unusual body types and dental configurations thereby giving the impression they are natives of another planet.
Friday is the most popular night for the Walmartians to shop.
The people you see shopping at Walmart at 3am for other reasons than to get medicine for themselves or a family member.
People that hang out at Walmart.
the crazy people you see at Walmart talking to themselves.
"Last week my son was sick, so I went to Walmart to get some childrens tylenol and there were like 3 or 4 families there shopping for clothes and other things you would buy IF IT WASN'T 3AM IN THE FREAKING MORNING. They must like to hang out at Walmart.....they're Walmartians.
An elderly citizen who greets you at the door of a Wal-Mart. He or She tends to be short in stature, and have no other purpose but to create awkwardness as they force you stare at the mysterious crap at the corner of their mouths.
"I tired of those freakn' Wal-Martians trying to get me to check out the isle of who gives a damn!"
the scantily clad, sunbed burned, rednceck, wanna be supermodels that hang out at Wal-Mart.
Why go pickup cheap crack-whores when the Wal-Martians are free