The feeling of euphoria you experience when visiting any Wal-Mart in America. No matter how bad things in your life may be going, you immediately feel so much better when comparing yourself to all the losers in the store.
While picking up some bread, clothes, and a car battery at Wal-Mart, I think to myself, "I'm so depressed. My girlfriend just dumped me for my best friend and my company is laying me off as they downsize. My car also needs a new transmission, the roof on my house is leaking, and my computer got a virus that wiped out the hard drive. But you know what? I'm getting a Wal-Mart high now because at least I'm not that guy." (pointing to the 75 pound weasel-faced man with only three teeth in the beer aisle with an unwashed, thin comb-over, wearing a flannel shirt and smelling like BO, with his 500 pound wife sitting in a Rascal next to him wearing a flower-patterned moo moo, with equally unwashed hair, while they show completely no interest in controling their seven maniac children running all over the store)
by JaggedGDog May 20, 2007