velcrotard 

Velcrotard (vel-crow-tard) - noun:

1] Someone that is intellectually inept; slow; stupid. An insinuation that someone is so stupid they cannot learn to tie their own shoes.

Person A: Hey, did you hear Brandon got caught with a 15 year old?

Person B: Really? Somehow I'm not surprised. He's pretty fucking stupid sometimes.

Person A: Yeah man, he's a real velcrotard.

velcrotard by JayrAir October 15, 2010

velcrofart 

a Velcrofart describes the situation where, to pluck an example out of thin air, a bloke called Binkie has been ordered out of the Dandy Lion Arms, because the fumes from his Arse are upsetting the licensee's children, but when he re-enters the bar, the gut-wrenching stench follows him back in.

Bert - Christ who ripped that one?
Sam - Oh No! Binkie's dropped another velcrofart; they stick to him like Bud Flanagan used to stick to Chesney Allen ...

velcrofart by bromp April 16, 2009

Velcrohead 

A derogatory term used to refer to blacks. Velcrohead is derived from the nappy hair many blacks have.

Look at those little velcroheads munching on their poormet cuisine.

Velcrohead by evenplay August 24, 2008

velcroed 

when you scrape your skin on velcro creating large scratch patch.

i just got velcroed on his shoes!

velcroed by guccigirl September 1, 2005

velcrosex 

When two partners are about to get intimite a.k.a. canoodle and both have extremly lage amounts of pubic hair. so much that it sticks to one another

man me and sally just had the kinkiest velcrosex

or

i hate velcrosex, makes my dick hole chafe

velcrosex by Dylan Bartlett February 26, 2008

velcroed 

to get one's moustache inextricably entwined in one's partner's bearded oyster hair

mr & mrs pavarotti had become so firmly velcroed he could not sing at vinny's barmistva. instead they got coldplay

velcroed by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

velcroesque 

1. a hanger-on who seeks advantage or gain.
sort of like a leech.

That dude was so velcroesque I could not shake him off me.

velcroesque by ink_lab January 18, 2011