(Fun Fact: No rule 34 of Vaati exists, he is that awesome.)
(A) Oh I see, you racist bigot. Discriminating against him because of his appearance? Is it coz he is purple? Or do you just fail to recognise the sheer über-awesomeness of red eyes? Or are you just against his gothic fashion sense? Actually, I wouldn't blame you there, except that for a Zelda character, he's got a pretty good dress sense. It's better than that wimpy skirt Link wears, anyway. And don't even talk to me about Tingle.
He eventually turns Zelda into stone to try to be a heterosexual, but fails and just gives a blowjob to EVERYONE.
-I am gonna play Four Swords, today!
-Oh where are you?
-Oh that estrogen-filled giant vagina. He's a pussy.