A state funded university located in Central Alabama. It is well known for its beautiful campus, excellent academic standards, attractive coeds, and storied athletics program. This institution has garnered a great deal of esteem in both academics and athletics, so much so that vacuous simpletons that are wildly covetous of said achievements are compelled to go onto websites and use sophomoric insults to describe this excellent bastion of higher learning.

See also: Main cause of little brother syndrome.

A redneck intellectual backwater. Ranks 10th among the 12 SEC institutions in both SAT and GRE averages. Mississippi State University & the University of Mississippi, aka "Ole Miss," rank 11th & 12th. Located in Tuscaloosa, a pathetic peckerwood Wal-Martesque Twilight Zone shithole out near Mississippi and former headquarters of the KKK. Uber obsessed with Auburn and "footbawl," few "students" would know Proust from Proulx from Prado. Its nemesis, Auburn, is another "university" in the state, but it is close to Georgia and Atlanta, with several thousand students from metro Atlanta, the Northeast, the Midwest, the West Coast and Asia who have diminshed the inbred factor substantially - while increasing standardized test averages to something approaching halfway respectable. The University of Alabama female "students" attend classes wearing flip-flops and with their stringy platinum blonde hair haphazardly piled megaskank fashion atop their heads. Male "students" invariably feature "Bama Bangs," which makes them appear to have even lower IQs. They speak with accents which make most cringe, as if they are the products of 800 years of inbreeding. Jacked up pickup trucks abound, "Bama" tattoos aren't a rarity and an unsettling percentage of the natives (especially the "Bama Bangs" sporting males) "chew" (chew and spit tobacco). The females see these "attributes" as signs of their men not being gay. "He mat be dumbern possum shit, but he's mah my-yun!"

University on the Alabama and Mississippi state line. Famous for George Wallaces stand in the schoolhouse door. Fans still slavishly adore the man that ‘rassled’ a little bitty bear cub, smoked unfiltered cigarrettes, used hookers as a bait and switch and drank rot gut whiskey to further his football team as they won over a clamed 156 national championships. Has a large percentage of "Sidewalk alumni" who are quick to anger and have trouble expressing themselves eloquently. Known to beat or shoot family members or significant others especially at halftime of games that the Tide is losing. This gives the state of Alabama a high rate of Trailer Park women that fall up the steps. Donald Fagan had it right "'They call these cracker assholes this grandiose name like the Crimson Tide, and I'm this loser, so they call me this other grandiose name, Deacon Blues?' " Most students drop out after an alcohol and drug fueled football season to an outside sales job at daddy's work.

Home of Alabama football and of the most delusional fans in all of sports. ESPN's Pat Forde said it best, "Irrational passion and general delusion don't just drive the bus at Alabama. They drive the wheels off it like Dale Earnhardt."

The most amazing place on earth. The greatest college in the SEC and since the SEC runs NCAA athletics that makes it the greatest college in the country. It is a place where tradition matters...12 National Championships, 21 SEC Championships, and more bowl appearances than any other team in NCAA football. It's where the great "Bear" Bryant became a football legend. The place where the amazing Nick Saban now hangs his hat.

One of the biggest party schools in the country. Everyone has a good time in a visit to the U of A.

At this University, instead of a student ID, they issue each student a mirror that fits in your wallet and a $1 bill.

No need for your driver's license, just use your fake...and bring a koozie, they only got cans.

12 National Championships in football alone.