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Unicorned (verb)--the process of being impaled in some way by a unicorn, usually the horn on its head. There is no proof that this can be done since no-one has ever seen one of these in the first place.
Officer: Your Mom and Dad was recently unicorned yesterday while trying to find the land of unicorns...thus, they had entrusted you everything they had in their will.

Son: O_O......YES! I GET EVERYTHING! THANK YOU GOD!
by The one above all December 20, 2009
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9
When having missionary sex and you punch the girl in the forhead and leave a red mark.
So i had her on the bed and was taking that ass hard then i unicorned her.
by Keljoran September 06, 2014
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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10
Getting player owned in a fantasy based universe.
I just got unicorned by a red dragon knight!
by tweanut August 31, 2008
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11
Used in substitution of the words drunk, wasted, shittered, hammered, etc. to categorize a state of absolute drunkenness.
Look at that guy, he's absolutely unicorned right now!
by OhGee October 17, 2012
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Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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